


Kyle's regrets, Stan's life, and Gary the (ex) Mormon

by JokersSkull



Category: South Park
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Crushes, Divorce, Drinking, F/M, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Partying, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-04-01 12:16:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 22,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13998165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JokersSkull/pseuds/JokersSkull
Summary: Kyle makes a bad choice at Boys night leaving Stan broken, everyone concerned, and the girls confused.Stan then meets Gary again and Kyle regrets everything and just wants to say sorry.If only Stan would stop ignoring everyone





	1. Boys plan a night

**Author's Note:**

> Ok this is my first ever published fan fic because im awkward so yeah.....  
> Hope you enjoy my late night writing  
> I don't know what im doing

"Jesus Christ! How the fuck am I supposed to hit on Bebe when we aren't invited"? Clyde annoyingly stated as the group of pissed teenage boys sat around a table drinking an array of different coffee blends. Bebe Stevens was holding her 17th birthday party tomorrow night and it was sure to be one of the coolest parties ever held in South Park. The party was supposed to have a live DJ, booze, _Just Dance_ , smoke machines, jacuzzis AND a professional chef cooking all of Bebe's favorite dishes. The only problem was that no guys were allowed. Every single girl was invited to the epic event while the guys sat together moping at _Tweek Bros Coffee_.

Kyle sighed and took a sip of his beverage before staring in Clyde's direction, listening to him cry about the fact he wanted to be in the prime girl scouting area. The discussion had been going on for almost an hour with most the guys complaining about the same thing over and over. Kyle wasn't that upset about not being invited. He would of liked to drink a bit and maybe eat professionally made food but other than that he was fine.

Clyde slammed his fists against the table before raising his voice. "You know what! We should have our own thing! Lets go have a boys night! Who needs those hot girls anyway"!

Everyone stared at him before large smiles spread across most the guys faces.

"Hell fucking yeah taco boy let's do this!" Kenny yelled highfiving Clyde enthusiastically. Cartmans voice, unfortunately, joined in with his 2 cents.

"Ew i don't wanna hang with you fags all night long gross". Cartman turned to Kyle and shoved a muffin in his mouth, spilling crumbs everywhere as he talked,"Especially Kahl, he's gayer than fucking Craig and he will spread his ginger, jew germs all over the place. FUCK YOU KAHL YOU AREN'T INVITED, Right guys"? Everyone stared at him before looking at Kyle knowing how this was going to go down.

"Shut the fuck up fatass! If anything YOU would be the one not invited not me. N..o..o..n..e..l..i..k..e..s..y..o..u"! Kyle shouted in response. They both stood up and looked each other in the eyes as if they were about to rip each other to shreads. Stan quickly grabbed Kyle by the arm and dragged him into the mens room.

Kyle kicked a stall door so hard it looked as though it would fall of its hinges. Stan winced at the large bang and Kyle noticed.

"Hey Ky? Maybe we should go home? I don't think you can handle much today and being near Cartman isn't the best idea". Stan looked sympathetically into Kyle's eyes, seeing the anger radiating from them, pulled the red head into a warm embrace.

Kyle's face felt like it was on fire but he felt calmer than before. He closed his eyes, inhaling the raven haired boys scent. He smelt like off brand deodrant and slight body odor but Kyle didn't care. He kind of liked it.

Kyle hated when Stan did that. He was always a touchy, feely kind of guy and Kyle hated how close he could get without feeling uncomfortable. Stan never payed attention to boundaries and was just oblivious to everything he did. He would sit extremely close to everyone, just randomly touch their hair or face and would hug them whenever he felt they needed it. Kyle wasn't anything like that. He hated most physical contact, but Stan was the only acception. He wished Stan would only be clingy with him but he unfortunately knew that boy was straighter than a ruler made of an unbendable metal.

Stan released Kyle and held onto his arms staring him directly in the eyes. Kyle wanted to run far away, knowing how red his face must be and how desperately he wanted to smack his lips against the hot piece of ass in front of him.

"You feeling any better"? Stans voice calmly asked. Kyle nodded and placed his hands in his pockets before staring at the ground. Stan took his hands away from Kyle and crossed them over his chest, leaning against the wall positioned behind him. "I hate how he hasn't grown up yet", Stan continued. "I hate the fact he just can't act like a rational human being and treat you like you're worth something. Not treat you like a piece of trash on the side of the road". Kyle's eyes started to tear up. He saw the way Stan was looking at him and he so badly wanted him to stop. His heart raced faster and faster the more he stared at those beautiful blue eyes.

The door creaked open just in time and a familiar blonde, parka wearing boy peered in. "Are the Jew and his heterBro done making out yet or what"? Stan laughed the comment off and stood up straight. Kyle death glared Kenny as the blonde's shit eating grin spread across his cheeks.

"Whatever Ken", Stan started, "You're so fucked up man". Stan walked out of the restroom and was quickly followed by the two other boys. Kenny gave Kyle a wink before he was shoved aside by the jew's playful wrath. The others seemed to have left and all that remained in the coffee shop were Kenny, Stan, Kyle, Tweek and Craig. The boys left the shop as Tweek and Craig locked up. The cool evening air hit Kyles face as he walked between his best friends.

Kenny, Kyle and Stan parted ways before heading to their houses. Kyle walked in and saw Ike on the couch watching a _Terrance and Phillip_ rerun. He joined him as his mom cooked dinner.

The red heads phone buzzed. He reached into his pocket and looked down at the screen revealing the fact Kenny sent him a message through Facebook's Messenger.

 **KenDoll** : Hey curly fries. We planned to have that Guys night thing tomorrow night at the SoDoSoPa ruins behind my place. Meet at about 8pm or some shit i dunno clyde planned it.

 **StanFan#1** : Yeah ok sounds great. Please tell me i can commit a murder there because i really want to enjoy the night without that fat fuck attacking me.

 **Kendoll** : soz man but thats a no no. You can commit a murder though. The one where you kill your future fuck buddy's straightness ;))).

 **StanFan#1** : Fuck you dude like that's gonna happen. We all know Stan is so hopelessly in love with Wendy.

 **StanFan#1** : also.....were*

 **KenDoll** :......DuDe you have practicallybeen thirsting over him since you were 10. That's like, 7 fucking years. You need to make him gay or move on. You're probably killing yourself. Also Wendy....as in the hot genderfluid one who also goes by Wendyl?!??!?!?!?! Dude your argument sucks.

**KenDoll changed Kyle's nickname to "Stansfuturehusband"**

**Stansfuturehusband** : Dude stop changing my nickname every 5 seconds.

 **Stansfuturehusband** : And that's not the point he only talks about W E N D Y NOT WENDYL.

 **Stansfuturehusband** : Mom's done dinner. Talk to you later fuck wit.

**KenDoll changed Kyle's nickname to "SuckmydickMarsh"**

**KenDoll** : Later carrot top

 


	2. Kyle slept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to Kenny's for the party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn i dunno if people are actually reading this but here's another chapter

Soft sunlight creeped across Kyle's face as the curtains blew in the wind. The red head turned aggressively to avoid the light trying to keep him being removed from a great dream involving Cartman and a sledge hammer.

Kyle buried his face into the pillow under him letting out an annoyed groan. He was awake now and had to live with the fact Cartman wasn't fleeing to up state new york because Kyle threw a sledgehammer at his head

The tired teen leaned over his bed and reached for his phone, unplugging it from the charger. The screen flashed on and he stared at the time.

**03:30 PM**

The boy shot up as fast as possible and ran downstairs to find Ike watching and eating a sandwich. He peered around for his parents but couldn't find them anywhere.

"Hey Ike?" He asked as the boy in front of him continued to eat his lunch, "Where's mom and dad"?

Ike finished chewing and swallowed his food before speaking, "They went to have lunch with all the other parents and discuss parenty stuff. They said if you weren't up by 12 to wake you. I couldn't be bothered so here we are".

"Gee thanks.", Kyle replied as he watched his brother shove the last bite into his mouth. Kyle walked back upstairs and saw is screen flash. He walked towards his phone to see he received messages from Kenny and Stan. He opened up Kenny's chat and saw the latest nickname that was set for him. Ike must of deleted the notifications last night when he stole his brothers phone from the dinner table. The notifications appeared again when they were left unanswered.

**SuckmydickMarsh** : Kenny i will kill you with my own 2 hands one day honest to GOD

**Kendoll** : Look who lives!!!! And that wouldn't be a first ;)

**SuckmydickMarsh** : Yeah Ike stole my phone and put it back when i went to sleep.

**SuckmydickMarsh** : Also if that means some fucked up dream with a necro kink i don't wanna know

**SuckmydickMarsh** : at all

**SuckmydickMarsh** : not like the last time

**Kendoll** : Damn calm down man that was like

**Kendoll** : 5 times

**Kyle changed his nickname to Kyle**

**Kendoll** : D

**Kendoll** : U

**Kendoll** : D

**Kendoll** : E

**Kendoll** : Not cool

**Kyle** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT COOL **_read 3:45pm_**

Kyle waited for a reply before exiting the messenger. The 2nd notification was still there so he checked what Stan had to say.

**SNACCaroni** : You doing ok

Kyle checked the time stamp. God damn fucking 8 pm. Ike owed him big time.

**Chesus** : sorry Ike stole my phone and i slept until like 10 minutes ago

Kyle put his phone down and walked over to his closet. He picked out a regular shirt and some jeans off the floor. He quickly changed into those and sat back down on the bed.

No reply from Stan, and Kenny left him on read.

**Chesus** : Jesus dude don't you love me any more :(

Kyle turned the screen off and placed his phone on the bed side table, walking over to his desk. His reflection appeared in the mirror infront of him as he reached for a black comb sitting on some school books. His hair was freshly trimmed making him look less like ronald McDonald's unknown cousin. Kyle quickly combed his hair to look presentable and not like he died for 20 hours.

The 'Boys night' thing Clyde planned was tonight and he was only just leaving bed. He kind of hoped he would be told to come home early or baby sit Ike.

Kyle sat down infront of his computer and booted up an online multiplayer so he could pass the time. He never actually played it but he heard it was good from Cartman's ramblings about how amazing he was.

4:00 PM was displayed in the bottom right of his computer before he entered the game. 4 hours to do nothing but play games sounded nice.

**\----------**

3 and a half hours passed before Kyle closed down his computer and started getting ready. He grabbed for his jacket and checked his phone. Still nothing.

"Kyle"! Ike yelled from down the stairs, "Dad said he and mom are getting wasted and im going over to firkles for a sleepover"! Kyle opened his mouth to yell back a response before he heard a door slam. As Ike grew up he became more and more snarky. That's probably his influence kicking in.

Kyle ran down stairs and grabbed the spare key on the counter. He looked to his left and saw an unopened bottle of whiskey sitting next to the sink.  
Looking back and forth in contemplation, Kyle grabbed the bottle and walked out the door. He locked the house up and proceeded down towards Kenny's house. At least he had something to add in to the drunken mess of teenage boys.

Kyle looked across the road as he approached Kenny's and saw a gross sight of Cartman showing off his negative muscles as Clyde just looked in disgust. He walked up to the pair to find out what was happening before Cartman put his hands out in front of him shaking them as though he was scared.

"Oh fuck no"! He started, "Gross jew germs all over my beautiful toned body! Why did you come Kahl this is for kewl guys only". Kyle rolled his eyes and placed his hands in his pockets before replying to Cartman's outburst.

"Well if only 'kewl' guys the why are you here Fatass. I thought you had a fat camp to finally attend". Clyde burst out laughing. Kenny and Butters walked out from the house in unison when they heard Clyde's laughing fit to see the red head and oversized asshole having the most aggressive stare off in history. Kenny stepped inbetween the pair and put his hands on their chest pushing them back a little.

"Save the fights for the party guys. We need entertainment when we get fucked up. And I bet Craig that Kyle can beat Cartman to a pulp so i have to wait for him to arrive anyway", Kenny announced, pointing to Kyle with his thumb. Kyle stepped back and walked over towards Butters, avoiding Cartman as much as he could. Kenny followed and held onto Butters hand before giving him a kiss on the forhead.

"Guys that's fucking sick stop". Kyle said in disgust. Kenny just laughed before responding.

"You just wish this were you Love Grinch". Kyle's face turned a bright shade of red at the comment. Clyde walked over at that moment and gasped out.

"Kyle? Do you like Kenny?!?!?!?!". Kyle stood there realizing what the brunette just said and turned quickly to Clyde's slightly confused face. Clyde stared behind Kyle and screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Guys"! Kyle looked to see who was being addressed and noticed Craig, Tweek and Stan walking over towards them. Kyle wanted to shut Clyde up before it was too late and before Stan could even slightly hint at the fact his closest friend was slightly gay. "Broflovski has the hots for McCormick"! Craig looked at his friend, confused by the statement. Tweek just looked back and forth between Kyle and Kenny. Stan's eyes widened as he looked at Kyle. Kyle wanted to throw up.

"I didn't say i had the hots for Kenny dumbass i want a relationship as nice as that not captain underpants! I like someone else anyway! Don't just blurt out random nonsense"! Kyle protested. Clyde apologized quickly and threw his arm over the jew's shoulder leaning in closer with a smile.

"So"? Clyde questioned, "Who is she"? Kyle stared at him for a few seconds with a disgusted look on his face before staring at Stan in hope of help.

"Clyde my guy". Stan chimed in, "Kyle is head over heels for Heidi. How have you not noticed". Clyde thought for a second before a realization struck him. The brunette grabbed Kyle's shoulders and shook him uncontrollably.

"Dude you chose well she's fucking hot!", Clyde blurted. Kyle removed Clyde from his body and stepped in front of his best friend. He punched Stan's shoulder as hard as he could as the black hair boy winced in pain.

"Dude what the fuck! You know it's true!", Stan exclaimed, half smiling. Kyle knew that he sort of did like Heidi but when the guy he really was into stood infront of him telling others that fact made him feel upset. Kyle crossed his arms and saw Token and Jimmy walking across the train tracks. Kyle sighed relief as he watched Clyde bolt over and jump tackle Token into a bear hug. He tried to do that to Craig one time aswell but was met with a punch in the ribs afterwards.

Kenny grabbed a Vodka bottle from the inside on his jacket and blurted out to everyone there.

"That makes all ten of us! Let boy's night commence"!


	3. Cartman ruins everything (again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boy's night gets too gay and Stan gets attacked!!
> 
> Kyle attacc and not protecc the snacc

The music was loud, SoDoSoPa was covered in trash and all the guys were drinking from the variety of alcoholic beverages provided. Kyle stared over to the top of a building where Kenny was being dared to jump off and land in a trash can below. Everyone was shouting and cheering as he cannonballed off. A bag below him burst under his weight, causing trash to fly everywhere. Clyde took a swig of beer before screaming passionately and running around, rmoving his shirt and flinging it in the air. Kyle stood next to Stan laughing at the chaotic state everyone else was in.

Kyle looked at his phone for the time before remembering that Stan didn't respond to him all day.

"Dude.", Kyle asked, gaining Stan's attention, "Why didn't you respond to me today? I was kinda waiting for atleast a K". Kyle crossed his arms and pouted playfully. Stan's face lightly blushed pink.

"I was out with Wendy the entire day and left my phone at home. I came straight from hanging out with her to here. Sorry I thought you were blowing of my deepest concerns of your mentality.", Stan addressed, sarcastically gesturing. Kyle snorted before realizing that Stan had spent the whole day with Wendy. He thought they only broke up a year ago. Kyle knew Stan would always break up and go back to Wendy but he thought they finally decided to never continue a relationship again. Kyle guessed he was wrong.

Kenny rose from the garbage and removed his now dirty parka. He raised his voice to gather the attention of the other 9 teens.

"GuYs lEt's Play SPiN thE bOttlE"! Everyone followed Kenny and sat in a Circle. Stan looked around at everyone.

"Kenny? We are all guys. I don't think spin the bottle is the best game to play". Stan was always good at handling alcohol and rarely showed signs of being at all drunk. Kyle, Butters, Token and Tweek didn't have much to drink but they felt a little tipsy, and Craig just didn't touch it at all. Kenny held his finger up to Stans lips hushing him.

"Shuddup Marsh GEEZ. That's why it's sO Thrilling. No oNe wants To Make oUt with CarTman. But TONIGHT. If you pRotest. No more boys nIghT iNviTes YA HEAR". The others contemplated the idea before one by one they agreed. Cartman and Stan looked concerned and hesitated.

"Keeeny. I a'int no fag! I don't wanna be kissing a guy.", Cartman protested. Clyde stared at Cartman and whispered menacingly.

"Only pussys don't kiss their bros asshat". Stan's posture tensed as he stood up and walked over to where they put the alcohol. Everyone watched as he started chugging the vodka straight from the bottle.

"Look at Stan being a little BITCH!" Kenny yelled out from the group circle. Kyle went to stand up but the blonde placed a hand on the jew's knee and shook his head in protest. Stan sat back down and placed the bottle in the middle. Kenny grabbed the bottle and went to spin but paused for a few seconds.

"This game is NOT a game of You lAnd on a person You MaKe ouT wIth TheM N O. This is a gAme WherE Y O U decide two guys fates here. You spin twice and whoever it Lands On they K I SS. Got it?", Kenny said with a slight slur to his voice. The other guys sat there scared by the outcome. Kenny spun the bottle. Everyone eagerly watched as it slowed down, all praying it wouldn't be them.

The bottle tip slowly turned towards Clyde as he gulped down slight fear. Kenny grabbed the bottle again and spun it with more force. Clyde looked around impatiently, just wanting to get it over with. The bottle pointed in Craigs direction. Clyde stared at Craig before his face tinged with pink. Craig looked at Clyde with a blank expression before jolting forward and placing his hand behind Clyde's neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Clyde's face blew and Craig released his lips slowly before smirking. Craig sat back in his spot and everyone stared in his direction.

"What? You said that was the game.", Craig stated. Kenny closed his eyes, thinking about the situation in front of him.

"Never been a better time to be a pansexual fuck boy than right now." Kenny whispered while clutching his hand into a fist and dramatically closing his eyes.

Kyle froze now knowing that the bottle landing on Stan and himself was a possibility that he was scared to know the outcome of. Craig grabbed the bottle snapping everyone out of their awkward trance and spun it. The bottle landed on Kenny the first time and Butters the second time. Butters sighed in relief and Kenny grabbed the smaller boy and pulled him into a kiss. Their faces slightly smiling as their lips touched.

Kyle looked over to Stan and saw the look he was giving them. Stan looked absolutely horrified. Kyle saw that look in his best friends eyes and felt the bile rise in his throat. Stan didn't like seeing that and Kyle felt disgusting. The red head turned his head to face the other side of the circle catching a glimpse of Cartman's face. His eyes were staring at Stan's face as well but he had a look that screamed he was up to no good.   
Kenny finally released Butters and let his boyfriend grab onto the bottle. The bottle spun around for what felt like forever before it landed on Kyle. Kyle looked over to Kenny who secretly gestured to Stan and winked. Kyle's face was already the colour of a Tomato.

The bottle spun and Kyle looked at Stan again from the corner of his eye to see him bite his lip. The raven haired boy lightly twitching his fingers. The bottle slowed down and Kyle noticed Stan's body freeze. He looked forward to see the direction the bottle landed. The whole group went silent as they stared in the direction of the next victim.

"C-C-C-C-Cartman has to k-kiss K-K-Kyle!", Jimmy blurted out as everyone except Stan, Kyle and Cartman errupted into a fit of laughter. Cartman threw his hands in the air before standing up and walking a few metres away.

"No way Kahl! Keep your gross fag, jew germs away from meh". Cartman shouted, his face pink from embarrassment. Kyle stood up and walked in the other direction aggressively pointing and Cartman.

"Oh no. Nope. This is not happening no way. Not even when i die will that happen!". Kyle yelled back in protest. The laugher from the guys grew louder.

"God this is a shit show.", Token commented before downing more beer. Clyde was on the floor in tears with Kenny as the two enemies screamed at each other. Cartman and Kyle stopped fighting and stood in their positions silently. Token stood up and walked over to get a handful of chips.

Tweek picked up the bottle and threw it far away before screaming.

"ThIs gAme is HORRIBLE NO mOrE!". Everyone agreed that spin the bottle probably wasn't the best game for a guy's night out. Jimmy instead made the smarter idea of 'would you rather'. Everyone agreed to that game as long as there was no physical affection.

"Ok-k so, w-w-we go in a c-c-c-clockwise circ-cle thing a-and, you gotta, c-c-choose who you w-would pick just o-o-o-outta us guys.", Jimmy stuttered. Kenny volunteered first and pointed to butters without a second to think. Butters pointed back to Kenny as an answer. Token took a large sip of his drink before putting it down and looking at his possibilities.

"Let's see.", Token began, "Kenny and Butters are obvious no's. Cartman is too aggressive. Jimmy makes so many horrible puns. Stan and Craig are really hot but i prefer personality. So probably Kyle or Clyde". Clyde clutched his heart mumbling a silent bro while Kyle giggled at the fact he was actually an option for someone. Kyle really wanted to know who Stan would choose but realized he would have to pick before his friend due to the fact Stan was sitting between himself and Kenny.

Craig realized it was his turn before speaking.

"Kenny, Maybe. Butters, no. Token, no. Cartman, Fuck no. Clyde, yeah. Jimmy, no. Tweek, yeah. Kyle, no. Stan, probably". Tweek fidgeted as he name being called out and clyde was happy he was picked by 2 people. Stan didn't really change his posture and just nodded at the comments made by Token and Craig.

"Ya'll are fucking gay! No way im saying who! Screw you guys!", Eric exclaimed. Kyle wanted to throw hands but held himself back when he saw Eric look at Stan with the same face as before. Stan looked at Eric in confusion.

"What?", the black haired teen questioned. Eric laughed at the scenario about to unfold infront of him as he cracked his fingers. Stan looked slightly annoyed by the useless delay in conversation.

"Oh nothing.", Cartman continued, " just the fact you're a mega homophobe and no one but myself and Kahl realize it. Like the face you pulled when Kenny and Butters made out was priceless"! Stan had the look of fear in his eyes as he looked around the group. The others were looking at him astounded and some with digust in their eyes.   
"You think you're the top shit!", Cartman proceeded, "That's probably why you keep breaking up with Wendy! Because when Wendy wants to be Wendyl, you want to throw up in d..i..s..g..u..s..t". Stan wanted to say Cartman wasn't right but the eyes that looked down at him caused him to feel disgusting. Stan gulped and went to defend himself before Clyde spoke up to make it his turn and change the subject.

"Ummmm, anyway, to be honest I would probably go with Token or Craig because Token is honestly really attractive and smart but Craig is my best bud and he is hot as fuck". Craig's face turned the slightest shade of red at the comment made by Clyde. Jimmy just looked at his options and sighed. He didn't want to bother saying anyone so he just pointed at Kyle.

Everyone stared at Tweek awaiting his turn. Tweek looked at everyone's eyes and started to grab his hair.   
"AHH H H H H H  I dOn'T KnoW AHHHH CRaiG fuCk, waY Too mUch pRessUre!", Tweek shrieked. Craig released a breath and Token just shook his head.

Kyle took the deepest breath and tried to think about how to word his answer. He couldn't straight up say Stan otherwise Kenny would give him looks and probably make it noticeable, plus he doesn't want Stan to give him the look he gave Butters and Kenny. He thought about if there was a better option that would be more logical as he thought about Stan's love life and how shit it was.

"Token.", Kyle answered, "He can hold a relationship well, he is really attractive like Clyde said, he's really nice and he's really smart too. He's kinda the perfect guy for a boyfriend". Kenny looked at Kyle with a face full of confusion. Kyle noticed and gave a light shrug to his response.

Stan just stared in horror at Kyle. Kyle looked at Stan confused and motioned for his turn. Stan stood up quickly and reached for a beer. He chugged it before shouting at Kyle.

"What the fuck Kyle! Why didn't you choose me? We're best friends i thought that I would be an obvious pick?" The rest of the group looked in Kyles direction as he stood up too. Kyle drank some of the whiskey before answering Stan.

"Well sorry if I chose someone else then you, Stanley! But I don't have to choose you because you're my best friend you know! You want to know why I didn't choose you? Because you can't fallen in love with anyone but Wendy, your love life is the absolute worst I have seen, you become a cynical asshole at random times, you're not very fun to be around sixty percent of the time I'm with you, you're pretty homophobic and you're just kind of a dick"! Stan looked directly into Kyle's eyes showing the showing the sudden pain growing within. Kyle saw Stan's face turn as white as paper. The place went silent. Craig shook his head and mumbled "homophobic asshole" under his breath. Stan looked in the rest of the groups direction.

"When the fuck did you all believe Cartman? I'm not homophobic!", Stan angrily stated. Craig stood up and threw an empty beer can over his shoulder before crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I don't believe Cartman. But Kyle seemed to see your reaction as well and he sure as hell isn't protecting you.", Craig responded, the slightest bit of anger creeping into his voice. Stan stared at Kyle but watched as his friend turned his eyes to face the other direction. Everyone looked at Stan in shame while Eric just gave an evil smirk. Stan backed away towards the exit of the SoDoSoPa ruins and bolted. Everyone just stood up and contemplated what happened. Craig stared in anger and kicked a nearby wall. Kyle felt guilt swarm in his brain. He felt so bad and just wanted to apologize but at the same time was so angry that Stan couldn't possibly accept the fact his closest friend was pan, he just felt like crying.

Everyone decided that maybe going home was a good idea and all parted ways. Kyle walked home alone and passed Stan's house on the way. He wanted to knock on the door and ask to see him and tell him how sorry he was but just couldn't do it.

Kyle opened his house up and walked inside. It was 12:17 am and the house was completely empty. He closed the door and pressed his back against it. The words he said to Stan rushed back into his head and he felt sick. Kyle's tears echoed through out the deserted house.

He regretted everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy i hope the timing isn't too fast 
> 
> Kyle you cuck you don't judge a bookby the reaction it pulls smh


	4. Stan and the girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan's pov 
> 
> He has a better noght with Bebe and co.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im glad people are enjoying this :,)  
> Thank you!!

Stan's emotions ran wild as he left the others. He wanted to scream and fight back. He thought about look in Kyle's eyes as his supposed best friend listed off everything pathetic about him. The looked just shouted that he was sick of Stan's bullshit.

Stan entered the home to find his mom in bed and dad knocked out on the couch, surrounded by beer cans.

Stan walked over to the kitchen and grabbed the leftover food from dinner. He heard his dad say something about fighting Dr.Phil in his sleep before rolling off the couch and falling on the floor.

Stan snorted and placed the food in the microwave. He walked up to his room and looked around for his phone. He saw the screen flash on and vibrate.

_**Kyle calling~** _

Stan's face frowned as he declined the call. And walked back down stairs. He removed his food from the microwave and started to eat.

His phone vibrated again. Stan rolled his eyes and put his fork down before answering with a stern "What".

Kyles voice sounded weak from the other side, "Stan. About tonight. I". Stan didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to talk about the fact all his friends pretty much hated him now for something that he knew wasn't true. "You what?", Stan responded with a slight angry tone. Kyle stayed silent for a few seconds before taking a deep breath. "Look Stan. I didn't mean most of what I said. Some of it I did mean but.", Kyle's voice trailed off a bit, "If you really are homophobic just tell me. I've seen you pull that face alot and didn't mean for it to be addressed in front of everyone". Stan sat there in silence. He was frustrated. Kyle thought he was homophobic and he wanted to slap him. He clutched his hand into a fist and slammed it on the table.

"Kyle I can't believe you just called me up to ask if im homophobic! What the fuck dude! I was expecting an actual apology! Not to be attacked again! Don't you think I've had enough? Just leave me the fuck alone Kyle! It's obvious you don't want to talk to me so just!", Stan took in a deep breath holding back tears in his eyes before finishing off his conversation, "Just don't speak to me ever again".

"Stan wa...!", Kyle yelled into the phone before Stan hung up. He placed his head in his arms and felt the overwhelming sadness he forgot about years ago flood back at once. He needed to forget it again. Even if it was for a few hours.

Stan looked down at his phone and went through his contacts. His finger hovered above Wendy's name before he decided to hit call.

Wendy picked up and a loud array of screaming and music blasted through the speaker. The sound started to muffle as he heard a door close and wendy's voice respond.

"Oh, Stan. Guy's Night ended really quick I see.", Wendy cheerfully responded. Stan didn't talk for a few seconds and barely managed to say yeah before Wendy could tell he wasn't ok.

"My offer stills Stands. Bebe said it's alright because she knows you well enough to know you won't fuck her party up. Do you wanna come over? They have jello shots". Stan slightly giggled into the phone and stood up to put his plate in the sink.

"Jello shots you say?", he responded intrigued by the offer. "Be there in 10". Wendy laughed lightly and hung up. Stan loved how Wendy could just understand him without him having to say a word.

Stan grabbed his key and exited the house. He started walking towards Bebe's house. The cold night made him feel lonely and confused.

Kyle's house came into view and the raven haired teen shoved his hands in his pockets and picked up the pace. He was too mad to think about even seeing Kyle tonight and just wanted to get wasted and have fun.

He arrived at Bebe's house to find Red waiting on the steps smoking a cigarette. She stared at him for a second before standing up and nodding. She opened up the door to let him in. The whole place was covered in glitter, lights, confetti, smoke, girls and intense dubstep. He noticed a familiar blonde in the kitchen and walked towards her. Bebe was playing beer pong against Nicole and from the looks of it, she was winning. Bebe saw Stan and walked up to him giving him a big hug.

"Dude, I didn't think you would come to be honest. I expected you to hang with your guys all night and wake up in a trash can with a hangover.", Bebe stated and started to laugh at her own joke. Wendy appeared from around the corner and walked up to the pair. Wendy's friendly eyes met with Stan's and made him feel calmer than he was 20 minutes ago. She handed him a jello shot he had so badly wanted since she mentioned them. He threw his he back and emptied it into his mouth before raising his shot glass in the air. Wendy cheered and dragged him onto the dance floor. Stan felt his mood change dramatically in the insanely fun atmosphere. This was way better than boys night.

Bebe walked over and held her phone up and recorded herself, Stan and Wendy taking more shots and dancing to a mashup of Panic! And TØP. She posted the video on Instagram and joined the two black haired teenagers. Wendy, Bebe and Stan danced for what felt like forever. Everyone was having a blast and all troubles were temporarily forgotten.

Stan walked off the dance floor to get some water and saw Heidi conversating with Annie. Wendy and Bebe followed and joined the brunette and blondes conversation. Stan listened in before Wendy addressed Stan's night.

Stan placed his cup down and sighed getting empathetic looks from the four girls.

"Let's just say. I don't think i have great friends anymore". Stan sadly stated. The girls looked at each other with sad looks and Bebe placed a hand on his back for support. Stan faked a smile and shook his head, "Don't worry though. I just wanna forget whatever happened and get shit faced instead".

Bebe grinned widley and called over another round of jello shots. They all swallowed down the drinks in unison and shouted happy birthday to Bebe.

Wendy waltzed back over to the main dance area and signalled for Stan to come join her. Stan looked at Heidi before he went and saw her check phone. Kyle had messaged her. Heidi looked at Stan and blushed before shutting her screen off and put it in her pocket. He put his hand on his shoulder while walking to Wendy.

"Don't worry. He hurt me real bad tonight.", Stan explained. He let go and walked to the doorway. He turned his head and looked in her eyes.

  
"I don't want him anymore".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boy kyle fucked u p boy


	5. Stan isn't fine, or cool, or chill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan goes home after falling asleep at Bebe's

Stan's eyes weakly opened as he felt a finger poke at his side. He saw Wendy standing above him, a light glow behind her from the sun shining through the window. Her makeup was smudged and her hair was messy but she still looked like an angel. He sat up and looked around a little dazed to check where he was.

Bebe's house. Party. Right.

Stan looled down to find he was sitting on the coffee table. He peered around and saw a few girls passed out in various places around the living room. Stan yawned loudly before standing up from his makshift bed. Wendy stretched her arms out and pointed to the kitchen. The pair walked over while stepping over any sleeping girls laying on the floor.

Wendy poured 2 glasses of water and handed one to Stan. The pair walked outside and sat down on the grass, breathing in the fresh air. The silence between the two teens was refreshing. It made the world feel calm and safe. Especially after the hectic night they both endured.

Wendy's phone buzzed. She reached down into her coat pocket and looked down towards the screen. Her eyes locked on a message in shock. Stan peered over to read what she she had recieved.

_**Overseas schooling program dates changed.** _

_**Departure to the London program will now be Tuesday August 14th 2018.** _

_**Please be at Denver airport by 6am for departure at 7am.** _

_**We are sorry for the inconvenience.** _

Wendy and Stan looked each other in the eyes before hurriedly leaving the backyard. Wendy raced up to Bebe's room as fast as possible while Stan filled up another glass of water and chugged it.

Wendy had signed up for an overseas schooling experience months ago for her final year with Bebe and that wasn't supposed to happen until the 28th of August. The program was now 2 weeks earlier than it was supposed to be.

Stan heard a loud "Fuck" coming from upstairs, followed by aggressive footsteps. He walked over to the staircase and made his way up towards the commotion. Bebe was nervously pacing back and forth while Wendy tried to calm her down.

"What the fuck! That's in 2 days Wendy! We have 2 days to have everything full packed and prepared to leave! We need to start now! We need to go! To the shops! Right fucking now! Go get ready and, and i will meet you at the mall in like an hour ok! Fuck!", Bebe screamed before rushing into the bathroom to fix herself up. Wendy sighed and walked over to the top of the stairs where Stan was standing.

"Why did they only warn us now? This is really unfair.", she disappointingly questioned. Wendy walked down to the living room and Stan followed behind. Some of the girls who were asleep previously had slowly started to wake up and make their way home after the noise Bebe had made.

Wendy walked outside and down the road towards her house, with Stan close to her side. The two looked like absolute garbage. They were covered with glitter, confetti and drink stains. They both laughed at each others appearance knowing full well how tired they looked. The pair arrived at Wendy's home in what seemed like no time at all.

"Want to come in? Have some coffee or something?", Wendy asked politely. Stan respectively shook his head.

"I would love to but in all honesty i need to just sleep for a few thousand years on a bed and not a wooden table". They both giggled and Stan waved goodbye, waiting for Wendy to shut the door before heading home.

His head pounded against his skull from the massive hangover he gained. Stan thought about all the alcohol he actually had and wanted to throw up at the thought. He was glad to be breathing in clear air instead of the stuffy, glitter filled air at Bebe's. His body definitely got a glitter beating that's for sure.

He approached the bus stop and heard some familiar voices growing louder and louder. He quickly hid himself behind some trees and bushes nearby to see Clyde, Craig and Token walk by.

"Dude! Bebe's instagram is loaded with videos from last night and that party looked sick! Im so fucking jealous!", Clyde's voice groaned out before he stopping dramatically. Craig and Token turned around to face their friend who's face sported a horrified look.

"Stan. Was at. The party. Surrounded by. All the girls.", Clyde painfully gasped out. He turned his phone to face the others as they stared wide eyed at the video.

"Dude. What the fuck. Why the hell was that fucking jerk there?", Craig asked throwing his hands in the air with confusion. His eyes showed an anger the others hadn't seen before. Token patted Craig on the back in comfort.

"Looks like our homosexual friend here had his emotion nerve struck last night. This is the most I've seen you feel for anything besides your guinea pigs.", Token addressed to his pissed off friend. Craig continued walking at a fast pace down cement walkway. Clyde was still staring at the video in utter betrayal and shock as Token grabbed his arm and forced him into moving.

As they dissappeared into the distance Stan removed himself from his hiding spot. He stared down at his hand and back at the direction they walked off to.

The walk home was filled with a lonely silence Stan hadn't missed. He walked up to his door and swung it open as fast as he could, ignoring the others in the house and rushing up towards his room.

Stan removed his shoes, pants and jacket, throwing them across the room before jumping onto his bed. He layed face up and stared at the ceiling. It was now clearly obvious his friends no longer wanted him around, Wendy and Bebe were leaving to the UK way sooner then planned, and his head hurt like crazy. What a fun time he was currently having.

Stan plugged his phone into the charger beside his bed and turned on his side. The teen buried his face into the blankets and wished he would suffocate in his sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing is hard when you have to pace yourself oh boy
> 
> I'm 5 chapters in though so im kinda happy about that
> 
> No idea how long i want this to go for but oh well


	6. Kyle and the boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clyde does a dumb thing
> 
> Kenny knows what's up because he knows pretty much everything
> 
> Bebe is a queen

"Kyle! Get out of bed! You have to go to school in 20 minutes!", Gerald called from down the stairs. Kyle rubbed his eyes and rolled to his side. He felt horrible.

Kyle stood up and walked down the hall into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He reached for his toothbrush and began his morning routine. After rinsing out his mouth he walked back to his room and walked over to his closet. The half awake teen grabbed a plain white shirt and some jeans. He put his fresh clothes on and grabbed his worn, orange jacket sitting on the chair by his desk.

Kyle stretched his arms to try to wake himself up before walking over to grab his phone and bag. Kyle stared at his phone, itching to write the most sappy apology text to Stan, but instead threw it in his bag along with his books.

Kyle hurriedly put his socks and shoes on before rushing down the stairs and out the door. He ignored the protests from his mother about not eating anything and ran the the bus stop as fast as he could. Kenny and Cartman were there waiting. No sign of Stan though. Kyle looked around before dropping his head slightly and standing in between the two boys.

"Where's your boyfriend Kahl?", Eric sarcastically asked, "Oh right he hates gays. How could I forget". Kyle bit his lip at Cartman's statement. He didn't want this today. He didn't want to hear about this topic ever again. Kyle took a deep breath before voicing a response.

"Ok Fatass. We all know you're only saying that because I stole Heidi off you years ago and now she wants me back". Eric's face grew into a scowl as he took in the words the red head had just said before shouting.

"Oi! The fuck did you just say Kahl! You wanna go! Let's go right here right now! I will beat you into the ground Kahl"! Eric stood in a fighting position beside Kyle, ready to beat the thinner teen to a pulp. Kyle walked over to the other side of Kenny so there was a distance between himself and Cartman.

The bus arrived soon after Eric declared war. The three teens sat down in seats close together so Eric could continue shouting at Kyle. The shouting continued between the two boys until they parted ways to their morning classes. Kyle took in a deep breath before sitting at his usual desk.

Stan was in his first class on a Monday and sat right behind him. Kyle looked in Stan's usual seat to see no one there. The jew felt a deep feeling of annoyance run through him.

The morning lecture began as usual until 30 minutes later Stan had arrived. The raven haired boys forehead was covered in sweat and his breathing was heavy. Kyle felt himself freeze as the class seemed to fall silent. Clyde was also in that first period class and the look on his face when Stan walked in showed an array of different, negative emotions. Kyle looked to the otherside of the classroom as Stan awkwardly sat down in the seat behind him.

The teacher continued talking but Kyle couldn't listen. He kept thinking about Stan. He could sense his presence behind him but he knew he couldn't reach out. Especially after the shit show that Saturday night became.

The bell to end first period rang and everyone in the class got up to leave as quickly as possible. Kyle walked out of the classroom with Clyde at his side. The two boys saw Wendy and Bebe outside their classroom door. As soon as Stan walked out the pair of girls grabbed him by the arms and pulled him towards the direction of his next class. Those three had similar classes after first period and became close due to all the studying they did. Clyde was positive that they didn't actually study.

Clyde bite down on his lip at the sight and looked at Kyle with jealously causing through his veins.

"What the hell! Who does he think he is being dragged around by those two masterpieces while the rest of us suffer!", Clyde yelled out, gaining the attention of Kenny and Butters as they walked past. Clyde put his head against the lockers and let his hands fall to the side of his body.

"Why can't that be me?", he asked wearily. Kenny put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a thumbs up.

"Calm down pussy destroyer 420. I know for a fact Bebe has the hots for you. Stan told me like 4 weeks ago". Clyde's eyes grew wide and hopeful at the new found information. The bell to start second period chimed and Kenny wrapped his arm around Butters waist to bring him in for a kiss before they parted to their next classes. Clyde grabbed his books from his locker and bolted realizing his class was at the other end of the school and he would probably be late.

Kyle also made his way over towards his next class with something else on his mind. Kenny had mentioned Stan's name as though he wasn't even mad. Kenny should of been mad. Stan was obviously disgusted with him. Why wasn't he?

Kyle sat down in his math class and pulled out a pen. He was too hungry and confused to think properly so instead he eagerly awaited for the lunch bell.

\-----

The lunch bell rang and the halls were wild. Everyone was pushing passed one another to be the first in line for food. When Kyle arrived at the cafeteria he grabbed his food and sat down at the usual table. The seat next to him was empty and no one seemed to really care. Butters was staring at the entrance and saw Stan walk in. The blonde boy hid his face in shame as his boyfriend stared at him in confusion. The entire table turned to look at Stan as he walked over to the girls to join them instead. Clyde stood up and walked over there in anger, followed by Token (who just wanted to see Nicole) and Kenny. The cafeteria went silent as Clyde made a massive outburst.

"How come you get to hang out with all the girls but if any of us other guys try to talk to them they literally run and tell us to fuck off!", Clyde began, causing Stan to wince. Kenny tried to calm him down but was pushed off. Token walked straight past the scenario and walked over to Nicole instead. His girlfriend asking what was happening.

Bebe stood up and looked Clyde directly in the eyes poking her finger into his chest.

"Look Crybaby. I know Stan well enough to know he won't hit on anything with breasts. So why don't you go back to your little fuck buddy group and stop making us seem like objects for guys to use.", Bebe angrily addressed. Clyde's eyes started to water at the blonde's little speech. He pointed to Stan and shouted in protest.

"I can't believe you trust a homophobe more than you trust me? I'm seriously shocked that Wendy, Wendyl, whatever isn't effected at all by him! You think i'm in the wrong"! Clyde's tears waterfalled down his face as he yelled. Token got up from where he and Nicole were to try to help Kenny bring him back towards the guys table. Wendy place a hand on Stans shoulder before he pushed her off and left the area. Wendy stood up and walked after him while Bebe followed. As the blonde walked past she gave the boys a filthy look and flipped them off.

The whole cafeteria went silent for 5 minutes before the scenario was talked about by numerous different groups.

Kyle didn't see Stan for the rest of the day and felt his gut fill with fear. He didn't know how this got so out of control but he knew that jealous and judgemental teenagers were never a good thing. He should know. He's one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not american so i don't know how american schools work don't come for me and my Australian ass


	7. Good bye girls, hello hot guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan has to say bye to Bebe and Wendy but gains an old friend at the airport

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this isn't a boring chapter. I really wanted Bebe to feel indifferent towards the guys because of how some of them acted.
> 
> Also i established a friendship between her and stan because of all the nights they hung out with wendy talking shit about people.

It was 5:45 am and Stan was standing in the middle of the airport, waiting for Wendy to return with coffee and breakfast. It was too early and cold to be out but Stan had to be there while two of his really good friends left to go overseas. Bebe wasn't arriving until at least 6am and Wendy arrived with Stan 15 minutes early so she wouldn't miss anything important. The plane wasn't set to leave until 7 but Wendy still wanted to be one of the first there.

Stan noticed Wendy walking over from the food court carrying a tray of food and drinks. Mcdonalds breakfast and a hot caffeinated drink sounded perfect. Stan walked over to a table as Wendy neared and pulled a seat out for her. She sat down and placed the tray on the table. Stan pulled a spare chair over for when Bebe arrived and sat directly in front of his long time friend. He picked up his coffee and Mcdonalds bag and began to eat. He needed the energy if he was going to wait and hour until they finally departed.

"So Wendy? What exactly are you doing over there? I mean, you told me before but I kind of want a little more detail then just 'Studying'.", Stan asked, eagerly awaiting a conversation to make the time pass. Wendy swallowed the bite she took out of her breakfast muffin and took a sip of her coffee.

"I'm studying law. I heard that they have a great criminal justice system over in England and I want to see how great it really is. I also heard that a person's resume looks really nice if you've studied internationally. Plus it would be so fun to experience living overseas. Bebe is working on a career in fashion so she's doing a design course over there.", Wendy responded before taking another bite of her muffin. Stan imagined how living overseas must feel after a while. The thought of leaving what felt safe to a new surrounding where you had no experience and didn't know anything about scared him half to death.

"That's so cool. I think it's a great opportunity for someone as intelligent as you. Just promise to defend me if I end up murdering someone, ok?", Stan winked and Wendy laughed.

"Will do.", Wendy giggled, winking back. The two sat there in silence finishing off their meals until they noticed a tall blonde walk towards them. Bebe took the seat Stan had prepared for her and put her head on the table in a tired defeat.

"I hate boys", Bebe sighed out. Wendy and Stan both nodded their heads in agreement. "I hate all boys except you guys. Why do they all have dicks up their asses"? Wendy placed her head in her hand and closed her eyes, listening to her friend ramble on. It was mostly because of the act Clyde had pulled in the cafeteria yesterday.

Stan finished his food and excused himself to the bathroom. The girls waved him off and they started talking about the details of their trip.

Stan found himself waiting at the back of the line to the bathroom. He tapped his foot impatiently and groaned. He should of gone before he left. The line moved up and he felt another person stand behind him. Stan shuffled a little in his spot and put his hands in his jacket pockets. There were still 5 people in front of him and he felt like he was going to be there for ages. The guy behind him made a sigh and Stan heard him move his suitcase closer. Stan peered behind him in curiosity.

A blonde, well groomed boy around his height wearing a denim jacket, black jeans and a white shirt was looking down at his phone. Stan turned to face the front of the line as another person entered the bathroom. Stan felt the guy behind him slightly fall, holding onto the back of his jacket for support. Stan tumbled forward and fell to the floor with the blonde on top of him. The blonde hurriedly got off the black haired boys back and held his hand out. Stan reached for the help and lifted himself up. The blonde gave Stan a smile that seemed familiar and friendly before he started to apologize.

"I am so so sorry. I must of not realized the amount of space between us and just fell. I am so sorry I caused you to fall.", the blonde repeated sounding worried. Stan just shook his head and waved him off. "Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal".

The blonde sighed before holding his hand out. "Gary.", the boy said with a smile,"Gary Harrison". Stan's eyes widened at the name, remembering why he looked so familiar to him. "Dude. No way?", Stan asked with surprise in his voice. "Mormon kid. I'm Stan. Stan Marsh".

Gary took a moment to register the information given to him before he put his hands over his mouth and his face coloured red. Stan felt a slight blush creep onto his own face as he saw Gary's expression.

Gary hadn't seen him since they were about ten years old and he definitely matured into a handsome guy. Stan didn't feel the need to pee anymore over the sudden shock of seeing the boy from his childhood. Gary must of felt the same as he followed Stan out of the line and walked next to him with the biggest grin in the world.

"Hey umm sorry about being a dick like 7 years ago man. I was just jealous that your family actually gave a shit.", Stan addressed with a laugh. Gary laughed back before shaking his head. "Don't worry it's not such a great family when you tell them you're really gay". Stan felt his chest tighten as he looked and the blonde boy next to him.

"Looks like my parents didn't like the idea at all. That's why im here, to get away from the drama. Oh and that's ex mormon kid to you Stanley Marsh". The blonde boy poked Stan in the arm playfully. Stan's face slowly tinged pink by the gesture. The pair walked back towards the table and the girl's heads shot up in curiosity. Wendy raised an eyebrow and Bebe looked them up and down.

"You guy's remember Gary from 4th grade right?", Stan nervously asked. Wendy's face beamed and she stood up to great him. Gary's face looked even more embarrassed then before as Wendy dragged him into a seat besides herself and Stan. Bebe shook his hand and gave him a friendly smile.

"Why are you back here? No offence but Dever is a pretty shit place to live.", Bebe addressed. Gary laughed at her comment and shook his head. "Oh no I'm moving back to South Park. I honestly had a nice time there years ago. The people were just a little rude but that's probably because I was new and Mormon. Now im just a gay, atheist living my independent dream".

The girls eyes looked him up and down and then at Stan. Bebe smiled widely and looked more alive. She winked at Stan. "Damn Marsh. Don't let your homophobia ruin this friendship." Bebe snorted out. Gary's face paled and his eyes darkened. Bebe lightly punched Gary in the arm. "Dude chill I'm kidding. Stan is 1000% not homophobic. He is 50% homo though". Gary's face changed to a slightly embarrassed expression as he looked in Stan's eyes. Stan's face became redder and an awkward smile spread across his cheeks.

"Yeah.", He began, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "These two call me the world's most useless bisexual".

Gary placed his hand over his mouth to hide his expression and Stan looked in the other direction. Wendy and Bebe laughed lightly at the scene the boys were making.

"So when did you find out you liked dick?", Bebe questioned Gary. Gary looked around before whispering out his answer. It was barely audible. Everyone gave a confused look and Gary realized how loud he had actually said it. The blonde took in a deep breath.

"I, kind of wasn't sure when i was younger. I knew guy's were attractive but i didn't really have a crush on anyone until 4th grade. He was really, real and kind of a dick but after I saw what his family life was like I kinda understood. When I got older and actually realized that I liked guys I tried to find his Facebook and saw how happy he was with all his friends and I thought I could experience that. So I came out to my family and friends. And now I'm here". The three other teens gave Gary sympathetic looks. That was way worse than what Stan went through. Stan just saw Wendyl and became confused as fuck. He thought about it for a long time until he realized he had the hots for Kyle. Then he only told some of the girls.

Before the conversation could go any further a voice sounded through the speakers.

**" _All passengers heading to the overseas schooling program in London, United Kingdom, please make your way to exit 6. You will meet your instructor there_."**

Wendy and Bebe stood up and Stan followed suit. Gary checked his phone to check a message he had received. "That's us". Wendy said, turning to Bebe.

"I need to go aswell, my rides here to take me to my apartment. Too bad I won't you three see you at school". The blonde disappointingly admitted. Stan waved his finger and pointed to the girls beside him. "Dude they are leaving to London. I'm just here for moral support. I can hang with you at school for sure". Stan responded. Gary's face lit up and he gave Stan a massive hug.

"I really need to go. See you at school I guess Stanley.", Gary excitingly said as he walked off to where his ride was waiting. The other three walked over towards exit 6 to say their last goodbyes before the girls flight took off.

Stan wasn't going to feel as alone as he thought he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa another chapter? And with the cute blonde boy? Kyle is gonna hate that


	8. Oh Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle can't get Stan outta his head and Stan is trying to not have Kyle effect him too much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters in a few hour time period? Unheard of 
> 
> Also both Kyle and Stan point of veiws for that day because i couldn't be bothered making them 2 seperate smaller chapters

The time ticked over on the clock as the teacher talked on about the laws of gravity. The sound of pens writing against paper sounded through the classroom. Kyle was sitting in his physics class writing down notes from the board. Stan wasn't at school that day.

Kyle couldn't keep his mind off of the sadness the other boys face showed when he ran out of the cafeteria the day prior. Kyle didn't want to feel like the bad guy but when all the facts were put infront of him, Stan seemed to be bad for his health. Especially when his heart pounded a million miles an hour over a straight guy.

The teacher had stopped talking, indicating the class to start writing the new information on the board. Kyle started writing down his work, trying to concentrate on that instead of the friend who now hated him. Kyle flipped his book to a radnom page and put his pen in the bottom right. He drew small versions of himself and Stan and put a heart around them. Both boys smiling brightly, no hate between them. Only happiness.

Kyle blinked rapidly and flush a light pink when he fully comprehended what he just did and tried to erase it. The only problem with trying to erase the drawing was the fact he drew it in pen. Kyle started to panic. He went to tear it out but felt a pain in his heart. He looked down at the smiling faces he drew and thought about how much he wanted that back.

The teacher started to walk over to check how much work was written in his students books. Kyle grabbed the corner and ripped the image out. His pen fell onto the floor on the other side of his desk. He turned back to his current page and placed the piece of paper he just ripped out under is eraser. He leaned over to pick up the pen but accidentally knocked the table causing the eraser and paper piece to fall off the opposite side.

The teacher stopped beside Kyle's desk and bent down to retrieve the red heads eraser and paper scrap. Kyle's face looked as white as a ghost as the teacher looked at the paper with slight shock. The class was now staring at their teacher and classmate with intruigue. The teacher handed Kyle his things back and asked to see him after class.

Kyle wanted to die right then and there.

**\----**

Kyle and his teacher waited until everyone left the room. Mr Evans was a stern middle aged man who didn't appreciate any type of drawing being in his students work books unless it was related to the work at hand. Kyle's sketch was definitely not related to the work.

Mr Evans walked over and grabbed a seat in front of Kyle, turning it to face the embarrassed teenage boy.

"Mr Broflovski.", The teacher sternly addressed, "If I'm not wrong, that is a drawing of yourself and Mr Marsh. Looking very, happy, together". His voice cut right into Kyle's soul. The jew slowly nodded and buried his face into his arms. He never should of draw that. Now he was fucked.

Mr Evans noticed the discomfort and moved the paper scrap over to Kyle's hand. "Look kid. I don't have a right to judge what you're into or who you're into, and mister Marsh is a good kid. I have him in my algebra class.", The teacher exhaled and continued, "What I'm trying to say is. I was in love once. I felt the same way for her and she ended up with another man. So make sure you don't get too invested with this, boy, and end up a grumpy old sod like me".

Kyle blinked, amazed by what he just heard. He nodded his head and watched his teacher stand up and tell him to get to his next class.

Kyle walked out of the classroom clutching the scrap in his hand and almost teared up. He didn't tell anyone apart from Kenny about his love for Stan and when he thought he was in deep shit he was given advice.

He walked down the corridor and shoved the paper piece down into the bottom of his jacket. He wasn't going to let anyone else see his embarrassing secret or risk getting roasted by Cartman.

**\-------------------**

Stan arrived home after the early morning trip to Denver to drop off his friends. The time was now 9:30 and he really wanted to sleep. A 2 hour drive there meant he had to wake up at 3 and that was now one of the current the banes of his existence. He opened the house door and noticed no one was home. He threw his keys on the counter and walked straight up to his room.

Stan opened up his latop and yawned loudly. He checked his email to find he gained a friend request on facebook. The teen removed his phone from his pocket and saw the notification.

_**Gary Harrison has sent you a friend request** _

Stan smiled and pressed accept. He opened up the messenger app and hovered over Gary's icon. He tapped it an sent a overly obvious "heyyyyyyy". He looked down at his message and realized how dumb it sounded. Stan went to unsend it when he saw the online symbol appear next to Gary's name and "Gary is typing" appear at the bottom.

 **Gary** : You know that the more y's added to a hey shows how interested you are in a person

Stan froze at the message and blushed furiously. He was normally good at controlling himself around people and the only other person who made him feel this weak was Kyle.

 **Stan** : Well i guess you must receive alot of long heyyys

 **Stan** : you are really hot after all

 **Gary** : Oh my

 **Stan** :.....i can't believe i just said that I AM SO SORRY GOD I'M A MESS

 **Gary** : oh umm well in that case then...

 **Gary** : Heyyyyyyy there

Stan snorted and stared at the message the blonde just sent.

 **Gary** : Guess we are both messes huh?

 **Stan** : Haha yeah

 **Gary** : Anyway I got my timetable for school and i start next monday! How exciting is that

 **Stan** : Nice man that means you get to hang with my amazing ass

 **Gary** : why don't we meet up sooner and catch up a bit. We have alot to talk about and i dont think i can wait until monday. Maybe tomorrow night for dinner? Im cooking

 **Gary** : also your ass is amazing i checked ;)

Stan silently screamed to himself. He hadn't flirted with anyone since he was dating wendy and the lowkey messages he sent Kyle and played off as a joke, nothing serious was really said.

 **Stan** : So like a date? Dude isn't that a bit fast? We just saw each other a few hours ago after 7 years or something

 **Gary** : whoa you thought i was asking YOU on a DATE?

 **Gary** : it's just dinner Stan complete no homo

Stan thought it over and bit his lip. He thought about kissing Gary and his face grew hot. He wouldn't admit it but he had found Gary's page on instagram 2 years ago and looked at his photos from time to time. He lokwey use to have a thing for him aswell and that just played with his heart more. He hadn't looked at Gary's page in over a year due to the fact he really hoped he could finally stop being a coward and tell Kyle how he really felt. That was until he found out his friend liked Heidi and disliked him.

Stan shook Kyle out of his head. He didn't want to feel that deeply for Kyle anymore, even though it was so insanely difficult.

 **Stan** : I can't do tomorrow night but i can do friday night. If you really want me too

 **Gary** : That's a completely platonic date then

Gary sent his address and a time before leaving the messenger. Stan threw his phone on the bed and held his head in his hands. He really was the world's most useless bisexual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for taking your time to read this mess of a story. Like i said at the beginning i don't know what im doing but the comments and kudos are keeping me inspired thats for sure


	9. Stan really isn't ok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan tries to be happy but Kyle ruined him again
> 
> Cartman's a fucking tool and Kyle hates everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to get some more of that angsty shit incorporated
> 
> Also Cartman's a massive fucking douchebag and ruins Kyle's life alot 
> 
> They say people get better with age

Wednesday rolled around rather quickly and that meant a full day of school for Stan. His usual emotions were running wild after the ups and downs the last 4 days had brought upon him. He had fights with his closest friends, lost two friends to an overseas schoolong trip and gained a new friend from the airport.

His first period was the ever so exciting history class with the generic old teacher who got up you for trying to get a tissue during his long speeches about politics.

Stan laid back in his chair and looked behind him. He briefly forgot he sat in front of craig in that class and their eyes locked. Craig's eyes narrowed before he turned his head to look over at Tweek. The blonde spaz was sitting on the left hand side of the room trying so hard to focus on the lecture and not be distracted by the fact Criag kept looking at him.

Stan frowned and sat properly in his seat. Tweek kept shooting Craig embarrassed glaces and Stan could obviously tell he liked the King of Little Emotions.

The teacher briefly left the room to get a coffee (his 7th that class), and Stan reached into his pocket. He pulled his phone out and quickly typed into the facebook messenger.

 **SNACCaroni** : Dude im so bored!!!

Stan stared at his screen for a few seconds before he straightened his back in fear. For that brief moment he forgot about the discourse between Kyle and himself and had accidentally sent Kyle a regular, best friend text. He saw Kyle read the message and his heart froze. He didn't know what he was going to respond with.

 **Chesus** : ......what

 **SNACCaroni** : ......what

 **Chesus** : Are you seriously copying my message.....SERIOUSLY

 **SNACCaroni** : WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SAY KYLE YOU ANSWERED WITH A STUPID TEXT

 **Chesus** : Whatever Stan

 **SNACCaroni** : I briefly forget about what happened Saturday and when i realized it was after i sent that. i hoped you would respond with at least something nice not just

 **SNACCaroni** : wHaT?!?

 **Chesus** : You're so immature Stan. You told me not to talk to you anymore and then you message me like you never said that! AND THEN YOU BLAME ME FOR ANSWERING WITH 'WHAT'

 **SNACCaroni** : If i remember i only said that because you not only called out everything you hated about me to the whole group, but also made them think im a homophobic dickwad and then called me up to ask for certain IF IM A HOMOPHOBIC DICKWAD INSTEAD OF APOLOGIZING!

 **SNACCaroni** : I'm not homophobic k y l e

Stan noticed his teacher begin to walk in with his fresh cup of coffee and the class settled down. Stan put his phone back in his pocket and continued listening to the history teachers thoughts on why Donald Trump is a revolutionary president. He anxiously waited for class to end so he could read Kyle's response. He really hoped for an "I'm sorry I suck Stan", "Please don't be mad at me anymore Stan", "I love you Stan".

**\-----**

The class ended and Stan quickly reached for his phone. Kyle didn't respond since he sent that last message 40 minutes ago.

 **SNACCaroni** : Really? No response at all?

 **SNACCaroni** : Sorry didn't know i was talking to an unfinished brick wall. My mistake mister unfinished wall. Your probably too busy getting laid by Heidi to answer.

**Stan changed his nickname to FuckyouKyle**

Stan quickly exited the app and pulled his headphones out of his bag. He put them over his head and plugged the audio jack into his phone. The teen turned his volume up as high as possible to try and drown the noise out around him. He was so furious he wanted to yell at the next person who annoyed him.

Stan walked into his Music class and sat in the back. He looked around the class to find a few girls gossiping in the front, a couple of boys looking over at the girls in the front, and then Token and Jimmy near the side. Stan leaned over his desk and looked at his phone to change the song. He noticed his teacher practically run in and slam her books on her desk before rushing back out again. The rest of the class just looked at the door and continued their discussions.

Stan sighed and pulled out a small book. He opened a page up and started to write a few lines before laying his head ontop of his arms. Whenever he would fall into this state of mind he would be the most creative. Stan would write down any song lyrics or poem lines he could think of in this book for later.

The teacher rushed back in again and closed the door behind her before apologizing for her behavior. She signalled for Stan to remove his headphones. The teen took them off his head and placed them on the left side of the table. He quickly looked at his phone screen for the message notification he so desperately wanted. Of course there was nothing there.

Stan could see Token and Jimmy glace at him from time to time. He could only guess what they could be talking about. Kyle probably made some groupchat to talk shit about him.

The music teacher threw her papers everywhere before facepalming herself.

"Excuse me.", she addressed before leaving the class yet again. Stan didn't mind the fact his teacher was a mess today. He really didn't feel like absorbing any new useless information.

Stan reached back for his headphones but noticed a girl from the front stand up and walk over to stand directly infront of Token. The expression on her face showed she was up to something. Stan could only just make out what she said before she sat back down. Something about 'Dumping Nicole and dating someone else'. Stan knew how much Token cared for Nicole so that was a worthless attempt on her part.

After 30 minutes Stan's music teacher was still M.I.A. He had spent most of the class on his phone playing some shitty mobile role playing game to pass the time. He was finally about to pass The Devil's Forest boss when a notification appeared above the top of his screen.

Stan lost the level again and left the app in frustration. He had tried to defeat it for almost a month now and a stupid notification had to ruin his concentration. The boy pulled his notification bar down and read the message.

 **Chesus** : Fuck you

Stan looked at it for a few minutes with pure sadness. He knew he sounded like a dick but he only stated facts. Kyle's stubborn attitude was now worse than ever. He wanted to reply so badly. Stan wanted to apologize for pointing out what Kyle did to him. He wanted to apologize until he realized how dumb that sounded. A second notification ran across the screen.

**Kyle changed his nickname to IHopeStanDiesAlone**

Stan was taken back by the words on his screen. He knew Kyle was upset with him, but not that upset. The raven haired boy stood up and walked out the door as fast as he could. Everyone seemed to look in his direction as he left. He didn't care. He needed to go somewhere far from people. He walked out of the school and took a right turn towards Starks Pond.

Stan sat behind a tree and took in the deepest breath he could before he balled his eyes out.

"Stupid fucking Kyle Broflovski".

**\--------**

Kyle was sitting down in his art class sketching in his book. He had to share a seat with Cartman so the only way to ignore him was to zone out with drawing. He didn't really want to talk to Cartman after what Stan had said. He realized how much of a shitty person he must have been to say all of that hurtful crap without an apology. Kyle decided to finally answer Stan and reached for his phone on the table. The phone, however, was not next to his pencil case were he thought he left it.

Kyle checked his pockets before he noticed the brunette next to him shuffle in his seat with a large smile spread across his face. Kyle peered over to see Cartman handling his phone with Stans chat log open.

"Chesus? SNACCaroni? Seriously Kahl what kinda dumb nicknames are those?", Cartman asked while handing Kyles phone back to the red head. Kyle looked down at the screen and realized what Cartman had done.

"Fuck you? I hope Stan dies alone?", Kyle looked at Cartman with pain in his soul and murder in his eyes. Eric just laughed to himself as Kyle reread the message he sent over and over. Stan thought he had sent that too him. Now Kyle seemed like more of a dick than he already did.

Kyle stood up and grabbed Eric by the collar before punching him in the gut. The class went silent and some students pulled their phones out to take videos. Kyle repeatedly punched Eric in the face and stomach over and over. After all these years of abuse the fat fuck finally crossed the line.

The teacher called for some other teachers to help break the fight up before they sent the boys to the principals office.

Cartman and Kyle sat down and listened to the principal rant about how atrocious their behaviour was and that now they were on a month of after school detentions. The boys parents were rung up and they were taken home. Kyle's mother was practically screaming at him the whole car ride back to the house and told him he was grounded for the rest of his life. He had his computer, Playstation and phone taken from him before being sent to his room. A 17 year old on intense grounding was unheard of for anyone who wasn't Butters.

Kyle layed on his bed and looked at the wall repeating the words Eric had sent to Stan over and over in his head.

"Fuck"!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone give those boys a hug before they do more stupid shit


	10. Stan's sad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan goes back to school after crying for 2 hours and finds out Kyle punched Cartman alot but has no context as to why

Stan wiped his face and stood up from where he sat. He brushed off the dirt on his pants and looked around the area. He had sat alone in his own self pity for almost two hours and realized if he didn't go back he would end up with more than one day of detention.

Stan started to make his way back to the school. He thought about how he could explain himself to the teachers on the way. "Sorry Ms. I ran off because the guy I like highkey told me he wished I would die alone", what a laugh.

Stan walked inside to be greeted by empty corridors. The students were sitting in their classes while he had his cry baby session. He walked towards the class he should be in and approached the door. Stan hovered outside for a second before turning back around. He was already feeling like shit so being yelled at for skipping wasn't something he wanted to put up with.

Stan walked down the hall way towards the faculty rooms. He approached the councilors office and knocked on the door. The room was locked and it was completely silent from within. He groaned and sat down next to the door waiting for Mr Mackey to come back.

Mr Mackey had gone from South Parks primary school councilor to high school council due to his experience with the current high school students. They were the ones always causing trouble in the past.

Stan noticed the older man walk out of the principal's office shaking his head. The teen stood up and leaned against the wall. Mr Mackey noticed Stan standing there and picked up his pace. He unlocked the door and gestured for the black haired boy to sit down. Stan sat in a chair across from Mr Mackey's desk and waited for the councilor to get settled in.

"You know what I've had to go through today M'kay. I had to put up with you dissappearing M'kay. Then I had to deal with Kyle beating Eric to pulp during my free time. Then you're back. So don't think I'm gonna let you off easy M'kay.", Mr Mackey addressed. Stan adjusted in his seat with discomfort. He knew he was in deep shit but now he felt like his chances of a single detention were low. If only Mr Mackey didn't have to put up with Kyle....wait.

Stan sat up straight and looked at the elderly man organizing papers on his desk.

"Kyle beat up Cartman? Why?", Stan questioned. He saw Mr Mackey place a piece of paper on the newly organized pile he had just formed. "You see, Kyle didn't give me a valid reason M'kay, and Eric gave no reasonable explanation either. You know those two though.", Mackey sighed out the last sentence before reaching for a pen on his desk. Stan tensed his body at the thought of Kyle physically attacking Cartman. He knew they weren't on the best terms but he also knew Kyle wouldn't just straight out punch him without proper reasoning.

Stan anxiously tapped his foot on the ground as the man in front of him picked up and signed what seemed to be a detention slip. The teen buried his head in his hands. The sound of the pen stopped and Stan looked up to face Mr Mackey.

"So Stan. Why did you run off for 2 hours? Problems with Wendy again. You know she will be back in a year M'kay.", Mr Mackey guessed. Stan just shook his head before turning his face in the other direction. He couldn't just blatantly tell the guy about what Kyle had said and how much how much  those words actually effected him. He really didn't want to show he was broken because of it. The teacher in front of him crumpled up the paper he had written on and threw it in the waste paper basket beside his desk. Stan turned in curiosity as the man wrote on another piece of paper.

"I know that looked from 3 years ago Stan, M'kay. I'm not gonna make you say anything you don't feel comfortable with discussing M'kay. Here's a pass to say you can go home whenever you feel like. Don't think you can abuse your power though, M'kay". Mr Mackey reached out and handed Stan the leave pass. Stan retrieved it from his fraile hands before standing up. Mr Mackey gave him a nod as he left the room.

The school had hit recess just before Stan had left Mr Mackey's office. Teenagers flooded the hallways as Stan tried to push past the crowd towards his locker. He didn't feel like leaving another day of school completely unfinished because of his emotions so he tried to avoid people instead. He reached his locker and pulled it open to reveal pictures of himself and Kyle on the back wall. He pulled them down and placed them inside a book instead, trying to ignore the fact his heart was in a million pieces.

Stan pulled out a phone charger and closed his locker back up. He had his english lesson next but he knew he could study in the library instead with his teachers permission. His english teacher didn't really care where you studied as long as you showed him the work you completed the next lesson.

Stan knocked on the door and peered in. His teacher was on his laptop typing away into word. Stan walked over and waited for his teacher to address him. "Yes Marsh?", his teacher asked sternly.

"Just wanted to ask if I could study in the library instead and if you could give me any handouts I need.", Stan stated. His teacher stopped typing and opened his briefcase. He pulled out a couple of paper sheets before handing them to his student. Stan accepted them and thanked his teacher before walking back towards the hall. Stan really liked the fact his english teacher didn't like to small talk. It was great to just go in, grab what you need and leave without idle chit chat.

Stan awkwardly walked into the Cafeteria to get some food. He was starving and really felt like a grilled cheese. He waited in line and bought the cheese sandwich and an ice coffee before sitting down at a table in the back. He started to eat his food as quickly as possible in order to avoid the people around him. He noticed some of the guys walk in and take a seat at their usual table. He thought he heard some people around him mention Kyle and Cartman's fight but couldn't hear well enough to gather information.

Stan stood up and threw away his scraps before leaving to the library. He really wanted the place to be empty when he got there so he could choose a table far away from where most people sat. Stan walked down the hallway again, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone lingering about. When he reached the library entrance he pushed the doors open and stepped in. There were only two other students sitting down at a table leaving his favorite spot available. He sauntered passed the tall book shelves and sat near the wall at the back. He lifted his bag onto the table and pulled out his english book and his headphones.

The english work looked annoying enough. It was on Shakespeare's play Othello and how the themes were represented. Stan put his headphones over his head and plugged them back into his phone. He opened up his Spotify and put his playlist on shuffle. The sound drained his mind of negative thoughts as he concentrated on writing down his work. He knew that love and betrayal were key factors within the play so he made those his main points. How relatable.

His phone vibrated softly in his pocket. Stan looked at his screen to find Gary sending him a message.

**Gary** : I'm kind of bored atm so do you mind hanging with me after your down with school? I could use someone strong to help me move my stuff in properly.

Stan laughed to himself at the message. He didn't think Gary was living by himself at 17 but he guessed he could be wrong.

**Stan** : I can get out now if you want. The councilor gave me a leave school free pass so i can totally help.

**Gary** : OMG REALLY! Thank you jesus for sending me a dick turned angel

**Stan** : harsh but true.

**Gary** : I can't move half my furniture with my scrawny arms. Please save me hero.

**Stan** : I will be over as soon as i can.

**Gary** : you are a lifesaver

Stan put his phone back in his pocket and started to, once again, pack up all his things. He kind of hoped his parents weren't at home to see him leave school a period earlier than he should be. Stan proceeded to exit the building feeling a small amount of dread leave his body. He started making the treck back home trying to force any thoughts of Kyle out of his head. So much for staying for a full day.

**\----**

Stan arrived back at his house and opened up the door. He threw his bag in the corner and picked his keys off the table before checking the fridge. There wasn't much in there to eat on the go so he just got a glass of apple juice and some leftover pasta. Stan put his headphones on the table and put his pasta in the microwave to heat up. The warmth radiating from the machine was nice.

The pasta finished warming up and Stan removed the hot plate from the microwave. He chugged the glass of apple juice and ate his pasta before putting his plate in the sink and heading back out to his car.

He sat down in his vechile and turned on the GPS system, entering Gary's address into the search bar. He turned the car on and backed out of the driveway carefully. He was excited to see Gary. He really needed someone his age to talk to that wasn't acting like an ass.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda boring chapter i guess but i needed to have a reason why Stan was gonna be at Gary's in the next chapter and why Stan can lowkey leave when he feels like it
> 
> Mr Mackey has been dealing with his depressing bullshit for years and he is so ready for those boys to go to college


	11. Happy to Angsty real fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan and gary be a lil gay
> 
> Stan gets depressed again because he thinks negatively oh no
> 
> Save him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sick so i didn't have much creativity at all
> 
> My brain is dead so if anything is weird in this chapter ignore that i don't know what i wrote tbh

30 minutes away from his home, Stan found himself standing outside a small apartment building in a new suburb with places still in development. The building had about seven apartments in total. Stan rung the door bell and waited by the security door. A beep sounded and the security lock clicked open. He made his way inside the building and looked around. The walls were painted white and the floor was covered in black tiles. At the end of the foyer was an elevator. Stan pressed the number and went up to the appropriate level. The building was small so it didn't take too long.

When the elevator opened Stan made his way towards Gary's door. He took a deep breath and knocked five times. He heard noise from within before a response.

"Come in".

Stan opened the door and saw Gary hanging a picture on the wall. The blonde grew a smile as soon as he saw Stan in the doorway. Stan shut the door and looked at the apartment. It was a two level apartment with boxes everywhere. Gary walked over to Stan and grabbed his wrist before pulling him into the centre of the living room.

"Please help me move this goddamn couch. I have been trying for hours but I can barely move it by myself. I got it to face the right direction but i habe no more strength". Gary stated as he gestured to the black leather couch in front of them.

"Where do you want to move it exactly"?, Stan responded.

"Against the wall behind us will be perfect. The TV is going to go on the wall in front of us. I know exactly where i want everything to go so you really just need to help me move stuff into place", Gary continued before grabbing for one side of the couch. Stan reached for the other side and helped him move it to where he wanted.

Gary sat on the newly moved couch and examined the wall infront of him before nodding his head. "Perfect". Stan sat next to him and looked around the apartment once more.

"How the fuck did you afford this place?", Stan questioned. Gary laughed a little before answering. "My parents owned alot of properties and gained the money from the rent they earned off them. They bought me this place as a final means of being good parents. They honestly didn't want a gay son to ruin their good reputation you know"? Stan looked at the hint of sadness in Gary's eyes before pulling the blonde into a hug. Gary's body stiffened at the gesture before settling down.

Stan let him go and saw the tears form in Gary's eyes. He placed his hand on Gary's face wiped the tears away, watching the blonde teens face tint pink. Stan's face mimicked Gary's and they both stared at each other. Gary shook his head and stood up with Stan following behind.

"Um yes furniture moving umm cabinet next hahaha!", Gary awkwardly said. Stan listened to the instructions given by Gary and moved the rest of the furniture into place.

\----

The two moved furniture in and around the apartment until the sun started to set. They were covered in sweat and they sat back down on the couch in exhaustion.

"By the way. Do you remember when I used to message you in like 8th grade?", Gary asked. Stan nodded his head and smiled brightly. "Dude I can't forget. I used to talk about you all the time to Kyle and Kenny but Kyle kept getting angry at me whenever I brought you up. He gets so jealous......Got so jealous".

Stan used to message Gary for a solid year before he dissappeared off facebook. He didn't have the courage to message him when he found his instagram page a year later. He really had changed in the 2 years he hadn't talked to him.

"Oh so I'm making everyone jealous am I?", Gary proceeded to say, "Might make all the girls at school jealous too if I make our no homo date on friday a kinda homo date". Gary's voice trailed off a bit as he finished his sentence. He turned to face the wall in front of them. Stan's face grew hot at the remark and he coughed away some awkward tension rising in his throat. Over the years he laerned to surpress his nervous vomiting and only ever did it when Kyle got too close to his face. He played it off as too much alcohol and Kyle looked so very disappointed.

"I mean......you don't have to.", Gary continued, "Just a thought. I mean. Oh god I'm sorry. I just used to really like you and now I'm feeling it again and. God why did I just say that"! Stan looked as Gary stood up and covered his face with his hands. The black haired teen stood up as well and grabbed Gary's hands before lowering them and looking into the blondes eyes.

"I would love too".

Gary's face grew bright red and gained an awkward smile. The two boys laughed at the situation. Stan let Gary go and walked over to the table. He had put his phone over there earlier and he checked the time.

"Shit it's almost 8. I need to get home so I can try to sleep tonight fuck.", Stan stated as he walked towards the door with Gary close behind him. The blonde waved as the other boy walked out the door and towards the elevator. The mechanical doors closed and Stan clapped his hands over his face. He didn't expect that to happen but now he was eager and feeling pretty alive.

Stan rushed towards his car and started the drive home. He had a date and it wasn't with Wendy for once.

\----

Stan arrived home to find his mom and dad arguing again. They were practically screaming at each other in the kitchen. He slipped past them and ran to his room trying to avoid confrontation. A few minutes later he heard a door slam. His dad was probably going to the bar again to get shit faced and his mom normally goes out some where aswell when they fought.

Stan didn't feel like food anymore. He knew his parents hated each other but it only got worse through the years. Shelly left as soon as she turned 19 due to the fact they would probably end up leaving each other again. Stan really couldn't deal with a broken home right now. He removed his clothes so he was only in his boxers and hung is jacket over his desk chair.

On his desk he saw some photos of himself and his now past friends. Stan sat down and looked at the photo's. His heart ached when he saw all the images of himself and Kyle. The teen started to overthink hardcore as the pictures brought back the negative emotions he hated so much.

He grabbed a pair of scissors on a shelf and started to cut the photos. He let part he cut out fall to the floor and he looked at the photo in his hands. The faces of the boys were the same. They all smiled and laughed even after the adjustment was made. Stan continued to modify the rest of the photos until every one of them had a certain part removed. He stared at the floor and leaned down to pick up all the pieces he had cut out.

He held small, 2D versions of himself in his hands. Those images didn't change when he went away and neither did reality. Stan walked over to the bin and threw the cut outs of himself into it before sorting the images and turning off the light. They didn't need him, his parents were too busy fighting to realize he dissappeared from school and home at random times of the day and the school sure wasn't stopping him from leaving either. Even after the great time he had with Gary he felt pained and upset. Gary could easily find someone else if he had said no. No one really needed him anyway. The pictures on his desk proved it. He was positive he was meant to be alone.

Stan thought about the last message Kyle had sent him as he layed down in bed. He stared at the dimly lit wall before closing his eyes and trying to sleep. His perfectly good night just turned to shit as soon as he walked through the doors. His place was no longer a home. It was just a place to sleep, eat, and listen to constant arguments.


	12. Kyle realizes he's a dick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle thinks too hard and finds out how much of an ass he really is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sordy I died for over a week but I'm trying my best!  
> Also sorry my chapters are so short im horrible at writing long chapters woops
> 
> Hope you like some Kyle pov

Friday morning and Kyle was annoyed. He was annoyed with the fact Stan was avoiding him more than he was avoiding Stan. Every time he moved down the hallway the other would go the opposite direction, he even left during a few classes and came back a few hours later. Kyle was so glad it was Friday. He really didn't feel like watching Stan slightly frown in his direction whenever they made slight eye contact.

The crowds grew louder the more Kyle realized he felt....lonely. he hadn't really had the courage to apologize because Stan was in the wrong. He was the one who would cause his own life to feel miserable. This was just another one of his dumb episodes that would last a week and then he would be back in Kyle's arms craving platonic affection. This was his own fault.....wasn't it?

Kyle sighed as he looked around the cafeteria for the familiar blue and red beanie he loved. When he realized it wasn't in sight his guts began to churn. He felt like shit. He wanted Stan. He wanted Stan with him, right by his side. He wanted to hear his laugh again and see his smile. Too bad that didn't seem to be happening soon.

The voices of the others around the table were drowned out by his own thoughts. He really didn't want to listen to the bullshit they were spouting anyway.

Why did he have to be such a dick. His mind wandered to all the times Stan was like this. A few times popped into his head. The first memory was just after Stan had turned 10 and the black haired boy was just seeing the world as a heap of shit. Everything that left his mouth made Kyle angry. He was so sick of his friend's negativity that he just ignored him and left him. He had hung out with the other 2 members of his main friend group instead.

The second memory was when the were 13 and Stan had broken up with Wendy for the 3rd time. Kyle tried to comfort him but he was so sad the red head just told him to not talk to him until he wasn't a cry baby anymore.

The 3rd thought was last year. Stan had randomly started crying in the guy's bathroom at school and Kyle walked past, fully aware he was in there. He heard him say something about how he wasn't good enough before Kyle had actually left the area. It was probably another Wendy problem anyway. He didn't need the negativity to effect his good mood. He had just gotten and A in every single class. How selfish was he really being?

As Kyle thought he realized how much of he seemed like a douchebag. There were so many times Stan was weak, alone and afraid but Kyle just....left him there...to suffer with his own thoughts and emotions. The room felt tighter, the air felt lighter and the people seemed quieter. The memories played on repeat in Kyle's head. Kyle held a hand to his mouth and stood up as fast as he could before bolting from the table and to the nearest bathroom.

The porcelain bowl cooled his fingers as Kyle puked into the toilet. He felt like he was about to pass out. The realization of how much he didn't seem to care about his supposed super best friend sunk in too deep. Tears spilled from his eyes and down his face, followed by intense sobbing. He regretted everything way more than he originally did.

Stan needed an apology for everything. He needed to know how badly Kyle had felt after his realization. He needed to know as soon as possible.

The bell rang while Kyle sat hunched over the grotesque white bowl. He stood up and walked over to the mirror, properly examining himself.

His eyes were red, his face was wet and his mouth was covered in todays lunch and breakfast mixed with some stomach acids. Kyle turned the tap on and threw water in his face before washing the vomit from his mouth. He had his last class with Stan next and if he could manage to pull his own head out of his ass, he was going to apologize for everything he had done. Stan was his world and he had filled his world with pollution and caused it to slowly die.

Klye waited until it wasn't noticeable that he had been crying and made his way to his class. He opened the door and looked around. The teacher was only just arriving and the students only just settling down. Kyle took his seat and tried finding Stan in the classroom. He didn't see him.

The class ended and Stan still wasn't there. Kyle's stomach filled with so much dread. Stan was there earlier today and the fact he was skipping when Kyle needed him the most was a horrible thing. Kyle waited for the class to leave before walking up towards his teacher. He eyes were filled with kindess as he approached.

"Something wrong Kyle? Did you not understand something or do you want extra homework for studying?"

"No I'm find with the work. But I would like to know why Stan wasn't in class?"

"Oh it says on the attendance form that he left early. The reasoning isn't there but it must be important."

"Thanks miss". Kyle left the room and leaned back on the wall steadying his breathing. Stan had left early for no clear reason to the staff but he knew deep down it was due to the way he was being treated by Kyle and the other guys. Kyle knew that the others were treating him harshly because they felt that if Kyle was mad at his favorite person, Stan would have been in the wrong completely. Plus the whole Homophobic thing really made Craig expressivley angry towards Stan and being on the receiving end of Craig's rage wasn't the greatest thing.

Kyle reached into his pocket and saw 'SNACCaroni' in his contacts, along with the last message Cartman had managed to send through is phone. He had changed Stan's nickname back to SNACCaroni in his contacts due to the fact he felt physically ill remembering how Cartman single handedly ruined his first attempt at an apology.

Kyle remembered the day he thought of those dumb nicknames. SNACCaroni was Stan's due to the fact he was noticeably a fucking snacc and he liked macaroni. Kyle was Chesus because he was a jew and macaroni needed a partner in crime, Aka, cheese.

His nickname wasn't matching anymore because Stan didn't change his back from 'FuckYouKyle'. Kyle started to feel sick again as he thought more. His thoughts were getting to much for him over the past couple of hours. People crowded the hallways trying to retrieve things from their lockers before heading home. Kyle remembered the grounding he was given and realized that if he didn't get home before 3:30 his life would become more of a living hell then what he was currently experiencing.

He was still determined to apologize and if he did become grounded then that was his fault for trying to be a decent person again. He thought about everything he could do to say sorry and thought of a plan. Sneak over to Stan's house. Talk to Stan. Hopefully get yelled at. Wait for Stan to calm down a little and then give him a gift and then tell him everything he thought. He even thought about telling Stan about the fact he wanted to make out with him on multiple occasions and hopefully be married in the future but that was probably the worst thing to do at this point of time. He needed to get Stan to actually like him again before then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too bad his apology won't end up going as planned......Kyle you dumbass tsk tsk


	13. Kyle tried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle goes to apologzie but oh noooooo it's firday night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter but oh well
> 
> Thank you for all the positive feedback on this oml you guys are amazing
> 
> Sorry for spelling mistakes

Kyle paced his room anxiously waiting for the perfect moment to leave. He wanted too leave as soon as he got home but at the same time he didn't want to seem weak and desperate. Even though he really was weak and desperate.

He heard his mothers voice echoing up through the staircase from downstairs. She was always incredibly loud but she seemed louder this time. Kyle opened his bedroom door and sat down at the top of the stairs, listening to his mother talking. She seemed to be arguing with his dad about another dumb thing he did.

"Gerald for the last time stop eating the butter whole it's disgusting! Now i need to buy more when i bought 3 new sticks 2 days ago. Why can't you just act like everyone else and at least spread it on some bread"!

"But butter provides healthy saturated fats good for your skin Sheila! Maybe you should try it sometime instead of caking that cheap makeup on every morning"! Silence fell across the area as Kyle tried to hear the rest of their conversation but they were too quiet to make out. Whisper arguing was something they did when the argument got too out of hand and they didn't want Ike or Kyle too hear. The did most of the time anyway.

Sheila walked out to her car while slamming the door behind her while Gerald laid down on the couch. His mum was pissed and probably trying to reach the shops before thet closed so she could stock up on butter. He wouldn't be surprised if she came back with a safe to lock it up in.

Kyle saw his opportunity and took it. He ran back to his room and grabbed a new game Stan had been wanting for months and concealed it in his jacket. Resident evil VII was always expensive and he knew Stan wouldn't be able to afford it without a job so he went and bought it for him. Kyle was gonna fix this friendship no matter what. If he had to spoil Stan he was going to fucking spoil him.

The stairs lightly creaked underneath the preassure as Kyle walked down to the living room. His dad was pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Dad. I need to go to Stan's house and give him today's homework. He wasn't there for the last 2 periods. Is that alright? I will be back as soon as possible i swear. I know I'm grounded but this isn't personal i swear". Gerald just looked at him and nodded. His dad was always more of a push over than his mum. Sheila was way more aggresive and hard to persuade. He loved her and everything but, she really was a bitch in some circumstances.

Kyle thanked his dad and ran out the door and towards Stans house. It was right next door so he didn't have to travel far. Kyle paced Stan's front door anxiously and checked his phone for the time.

**7pm**

Kyle shook his head and knocked on the front door. The footsteps of someone inside grew louder and so did Kyle's heartbeat. He was way too nervous.

The door creaked open. Randy was standing in the doorway wearing just his underwear and holding a beer in his hand. He heard Sharon inside yelling at him for not putting clothes on before answering the door but Randy just ignored her.

"Umm is Stan here? I need to talk to him about something.", Kyle patiently waited as Randy stood there taking a long sip of beer. The older man tipped the last few drops of the drink into his mouth and threw the can behind his shoulder. Sharon shouted at him again.

"Are you kidding me Randy? You're such as asshole you can't even clean up after yourself and you're so lazy. Be a good husband for a change".

"At least i don't act like a bitch and argue while I'm trying to talk to someone"

"What do you mean you do that all the time! Just the other day I was talking to Laura and you practically complained the whole time about being bored! You are such a child"!

Randy turned to Kyle to answer him instead of his wife.

"Stan just left to see his friend 30 minutes from here. Said something about dinner and then watching a movie I don't know I wasn't really listening when he mentioned it and he wasn't really enthusiastic on telling me. Strange kid". Kyle felt his heart drop. His confidence flew out the window at that moment and he started to feel sick again. Stan was out with someone for dinner and a movie. To him that really sounded like a date. Stan was pobably out with some hot girl he met at Bebe's party or something. There was only girls there apart from him and the way Bebe described Stan to Clyde during the cafeteria argument made his seem like a great guy, which he pretty much was before Kyle fucked him over.

"Oh um ok. Thanks". Kyle tyrned to leave and Randy shut the door behind him. The walk back was filled with more thoughts than before and Kyle hated it. He hated that he hadn't realized sooner and apologized at every single opportunity he was given. He should of done it on the phone call the night it happened or at least during the texting scenario before Cartman ruined him. Kyle opened the door to his house and walked back to his room falling on his bed face first. Karma really was the biggest bitch of them all.

 


	14. Stan goes on a date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan and Gary do a date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok sooooo i know it's been like a month since last update but school atarted back up and i had mega con crunch underway and also i got sick so AHH H H IM SO SORRY  
> I am so bad at uploading oh jesus im so sorry again

Dirty clothes were thrown around Stan's bedroom as he tried to find something decent to wear. His small depressive slump made him forget washing exists and he could already tell he needed a nice long shower and heaps of laundry done. His shirts mostly had food stains and the rest smelt like his gym shoes. Not the best thing to wear to a date. A date. He had a date with a cute guy. This never happened to him.

Stan piled the shirts that stunk and the food covered shirts into 2 seperate piles. He groaned as his wardrobe started to become bare. The clothes that did seem to be clean however had some weird design or were too small. A shirt stood out from underneath a pair of pants. It was white with green sleeves. Stan looked at it and checked the stink level. Clean and only a slight odor. Perfect.

He trudged  back through the room towards his bed, kicking the mess he just made out of his way so he could form a path. His phone had no new messages, which wasn't really a surprise. No one talked to him except Kenny. The girl's didn't have a chance due to their non stop fun in Britain. He guessed he had Gary now, but that could be ruined at any moment and he was already heading over there anyway.

Stan grabbed some cash and his things, checked himself in the mirror to make sure the eye bags weren't too noticeable, and made his way to his car.

\-----

The anxiety hit Stan hard as he walked up towards Gary's door. He wanted to enter but he was too worried about how he might present himself and ruin this. Stan sighed and knocked lightly. Hurrieded footsteps sounded from the other side. Stan gulped down the fear rising in his throat as the blonde opened the front door. He was dressed in a light blue button up with slightly ripped black jeans and his hair was groomed perfectly. Stan on the other hand looked like he didn't put much effort into preparing himself. Gary didn't seem to notice.

"Right this way sir.", Gary directioned while bowing playfully. Stan let out a small laugh before stepping inside. Plates of extravagant food was spread across the table with nicely folded napkins and freshly polished cutlery. Stan just stood in amazment, his mouth slightly open at the incredible display set up for him.

"This is.....Amazing" Stan managed to say. Gary just giggled softly. Stan stared at the smile on his lips and stared. He was really cute.

"Well I guess impressing you was the main priority. I may have gone overboard with the food though. I just had so much fun making it I kinda forgot you are just a single person and not a large family". Stan's face turned a light shade of pink and a large smile spread across his cheeks.

"You're telling me. You made all of this. You must be some kind of genius. You're actually amazing." Gary's face turned a dark shade of red at the compliment Stan had given him before he sat down at the table. Stan followed and sat right in front of him. The two boys shared the selection of food while discussing just basics and getting to reknow each other from the brief moments they talked in the past. Stan had managed to stay away from the current topics of his friends, family life and mental state and instead ushered towards light hearted things like the new star wars movie or the latest issue of his favorite comic book.

Hours passed and the pair had caught up on the good parts of each others lives. Gary had started doing some cooking courses at a night school and thats the main reason he wanted to have a date at his home. His skills were amazing and Stan was surprised he cooked that well at such a young age.

"It's kind of lonley, living by yourself and not really having anyone to go to". Gary stated while looking down at a piece of cake he had cut for dessert. Stan saw Gary avoid eye contact as he moved a corner of cake around on his plate. Stan felt a stab in his heart before sighing.  
    
"I know how it feels"  
"But you have a family and so many friends who adore you. I'm always the new kid with the homophobic parents and no friends"  
"Just because I have a family and, friends, doesn't mean that I don't feel lonely. They aren't really great at the moment". Gary's eyes looked straight into Stan's with sympathy but also understanding. Stan reached over and put his hand in Gary's, making the blonde reclaim the dark red shade his face had turned earlier. Stan didn't know what to do from there. He never went on a proper date whatever and Wendy always was the dominant one in the relationship. He started to stare at Gary again. His eyes were a bright blue and had hints of gold. He had skin that looked so soft and light freckles that you could barely see unless you looked closley. His lips were a soft shade of pink and now Stan was really staring. It felt good to not stare at Kyle all the time. He really did stare at Kyle, all the time. He knew he had to get over him and he had the perfect candidate right in front of him. Gary actually wanted him and Stan would be lying if he said he didn't want to kiss him right now.   
Stan began to lean in but was interrupted by his phone blasting pumped up kicks. His ringtone for his dad.

He groaned and let go of Gary's hand and picked up the call. His dad was yelling into the mic with a slur. He was most likely drunk again.

"Stannnnnnnn your mum is angry i didn't tell you to come home before 12 and it's like 11 or some shit so get home unless your banging some cute chick then I got you covered."  
"Dad I'm not having sex fucking hell. Yeah ok I will be home soon jesus."  
"Oh shit I thought you finally scored. Oh that reminds me did you talk to Kyle yet? He said he needed to talk to you about something, seemed a little desperate, but then I said you were on a date and I forgot the rest."  
"Bye dad" Stan hung up as fast as possible and ran through the information his dad had just given him. Kyle had been over and seemed desperate. He had chosen to talk to Stan but he wasn't there. Guilt rised in Stans throat before he pushed it aside. Kyle probably just wanted to apologize but then turn the blame back on Stan, he seemed to mangae to do that alot. Stan stood up and looked at Gary with apologetic eyes before walking around to his side of the table and pulling him in for a hug.

"Sorry dad's drunk and apparently i now have a curfew. I would stay longer but family's suck?"  
"That's fine. See you on Monday?" The pair walked towards Gary's door and waved eachother goodbye.

Stan didn't wanna think about Kyle after a great night with Gary but he kept going back to the thing his dad said over the phone.

If Kyle was truly desperate he would try again.


	15. Gary's first day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gary goes to school  
> Stan is very bi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT OMG I HAD NO INSPIRATION FOR THIS CHAPTER SO I TRIED TO THROW ONE TOGETHER

Stan heard nothing from Kyle over the rest of the weekend. Gary sent a few messages but aside from that Stan held himself up in his room all hours of the day. Now it was Monday and Stan was currently shovelling through his clothes to find something decent enough to impress the new boy in school. He found a plain blue shirt, his signature beanie and jacket, and some plain black jeans. His hair was freshly washed and styled and his face was shaven. He felt good and confident today and nothing was going to bring him down. Except the fact Kyle still hated him for a reason that was completely untrue. He just never blurted out to his guy friends he liked both guys and girls. He did low key flirt with Kyle so it wasn't his fault no one got the hint. Well Kenny got it but he didn't tell anyone either so yay for being friends with a gossip and drama loving dick. The only good thing that came out of Kenny knowing was that he knew how much Stan had pined for Kyle. He knew every reason and Stan constantly threatened him if he spilled. He never did though. Kenny kind of just kept secrets and took them with him too the grave. Unless it wasn't an intense secret. Like that one time Stan got back with Wendy a day after they broke up. He exposed that secret straight away and the rest of the group just groaned, followed by pointing finger guns to their heads and firing.

Stan stopped reminiscing and quickly left. He realized that dwelling on the past was not a great idea and he should focus more on the future. If the ex friends of his wanted to hang again he would be fine with it. They are wrong after all. It's not his fault he is bi. It's not his fault he had an sexuality crisis after the Asian girls made Craig and Tweek gay. It wasn't his fault he wanted to live with Kyle in a New York City apartment, watching the cars drive by and the people with their busy lives, far away from fucking South Park. Too bad that would never happen.

Stan parked his car in the lot and text Gary to meet him in the main hallway. Walking down the hallway looking around for Gary Stan noticed Kenny leaning against Butters locker with a rose in hand. He was such a hopeless romantic.

Seeming that it was Gary's first day and Stan offered to show him around and take him to some classes, Stan didn't feel lonely. As he waited for Gary a familiar large load bumped into him.

"Ew darsh. Go take your homophobic germs and screw yourself". Cartman blurted out. Stan just sighed and looked around some more. Gary was no where in sight.

"Oh sure ignore me fucktard! This is why no one likes you. You're gross and rude".  
"Says yourself you garbage truck. Just leave me alone today. I don't need your bullshit".  
"Sorry no can d- oh hey Kahl". Stan's head perked up as Cartman greeted Kyle. The red haired boy looked really tired compared to the week before. Stan winced when they made eye contact.

"Stan is becoming his emo self again. What are you going to do emo. Kill yourself!", Cartman harshly stated before erupting into laughter. Kyle looked horrified and launched his foot into the larger boy's shin.

"Shut the fuck up you oversized whale". Kyle yelled. Anger was radiating off him. Stan instinctively put a hand on Kyles shoulder to calm him. Kyle froze. His face turning a light shade of pink. Stan removed his hand quickly at the reaction his ex friend gave off.

"Sorry. I. Fuck!"

Kyle shook his head. "I. I'm sorry. Stan I need to tell you something major and I need you to know th-".

"Stan! There you are! I got lost finding you!" Kyle was abruptly cut off by the blonde teen speed walking down the hall towards them. He stared at him for a few seconds and when he approached it sunk in.

"Mormon kid?", Kyle questioned. He didn't know Stan was still friends with this guy. He didn't know he was now back in the god forsaken town for schooling.

"G-Gary hi". Stans voice shook and face turned red when Gary approached. Kyle looked confused and his fist tightened.

"Ew the faggot Mormon is back.", Cartman announced from the side, clutching onto his damaged leg. "Too late blondey. Your boyfriend became homophobic in the 7 years you've been away". Kyles face fell at the statement. Stan looked towards Gary and saw the smug look on his face.

"Oh really?", Gary pulled Stan by the collar and kissed him right then and there. Stan's face was redder than a tomato and he could feel his heart pound at a thousand miles per hour. Gary's lips were soft and tasted slightly like vanilla. The blonde released and stared into Stan's dark blue eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me at our date last night babe"? Stan just giggled lightly before turning his eyes to Kyle and Cartman. A few other students were gathered around them taking photos and Stan could feel his guts churn. This was the day he died. Kyle's face was the palest he had ever seen. It looked like the life was just sucked out from him where he stood. Cartman on the other hand was laughing uncontrollably.

"HE CALLED YOU FUCKING B ABE! PRICELESS SHIT! STAN IS A FAG AFTER ALL OH MY GOD! I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG HOLY FUCK! SUCK MY DICK KAHL I FUCKING TOLD YOU, YOU USELESS JEW". Kyle just turned around and stormed off. Stan went to follow after him but was distracted when a hand slipped into his. The touch was warm and he needed to feel loved after the neglect he had felt for the past week or so. Stan's home life and social life were horrid and if he wanted to enjoy this one thing he would.

"So. It looks like your asshole friend here was wrong after all huh?", Gary asked, lightly squeezing Stan’s hand while pulling him away to walk him to class. Stan was a mess and hundreds of eyes followed him. "I- yeah. They all were". This was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try better i swear god i suck


	16. Kyle goes through stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan is happy  
> Kyle isn't that happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW A CHAPTER CAN YOU BELIEVE IT????  
> Honestly i have had the worst writers block ever jesus it sucks

  
Stan's shitty life had become better than ever. He had someone who genuinely cared for him didn't drop him at the tip of a hat. Every time the fighting at home grew into something to be worried about Stan would pack his bags and stay with Gary for as long as he needed. His parents hadn't bothered to call or check up on him. The friends he lost didn't care anymore. The only thing he had was the ray of sunshine that laid next to him, sleeping softly as if he had no cares in the world. Stan watched the blondes breathing pattern closely. He twitch occasionally indicating his dreaming state. What was he dreaming about? Stan could only wonder.   
A few moments passed and Stan's stomach decided it needed food. He whipped up some scrambled eggs with toast before sitting down and turning on the TV. It was peacefully in the apartment and he felt like he could be someone he dreamed of being years ago. He felt new, he felt fresh, he felt as though his whole world was flipped right side up and god was finally saying he deserved a chance at feelings happy. After all the years of constant neglect by his parents, peers, and even strangers, he had something stable.  
A harsh tone vibrated against the table as an incoming call appeared on Stan's phone. He looked down at the name, Wendy, before picking up.

"Yellow wends."  
"STAN HI! Its been so long! Time zones are such a bitch am i right?" The familiar voice sent a calming feeling through Stan's brain. Wendy and himself were never cut out for dating but there friendship was stronger than ever. He loved her in a completely platonic way and the feelings were obviously mutual.

"Yeah time zones really suck ass. How's your course going"  
"Amazing! Apparently i have a lot of potential! Isn't that amazing?"  
"It sure is Wends! I knew you had it in you!" The smile on Stan's face was vibrant. The soft chuckle coming through the line made his heart flutter. He missed the feelings that felt right.

"So Stan, enough about me. How's the boyfriend?" Stan almost choked on the eggs he just loaded into his mouth.   
"How do you know about that!" Her laughter grew in intensity.   
"It's all over Annie's instagram page. I didn't think you would be the type of guy to out yourself in public. I thought you would take your gay side to the grave."  
"Yeah yeah whatever! When are you gonna tell Bebe you think she's hot."  
"Please Stan for the 500th time I'm not into Bebe that way....anymore. There's this cute boy here though!" Stan listened to his now closest friend gush over the guy who works at the local library for over 30 minutes. He was so captivated he didn't notice the blue eyes staring at him from across the room. Gary's face was smiling slightly at how lively Stan's face was.   
Stan turned to look at the blonde leaning against the wall. He smiled back brighter than ever.

He couldn't imagine a better way to spend the weekend.........

 

 

 

Kyle on the other hand, could. The red heads emotions were on the fritz. He had no idea how to feel at a given time and ended up feeling too much. The mixed emotions running through him hurt worse than ever and he didn't know how to stop it. Sure he should have manned up and realized how shit he was treating the closest person in his life, but he was scared. Kyle reached for his phone and began typing.

Draft:  
Hey Stan,,,,,I really wanted to tell you this in person....

Draft:  
Hey Stan. What up. I’m so sorry for being a douche but hey I love you!....

Draft:  
Hey Stanley! How's are you and your....

Draft:  
Hey! how’s the blonde fucker?.

Draft:  
I love you....

He typed, a lot, but never had the courage to actually hit send. repeated this for weeks but every time he worded something it didn't sound right. The pang in his heart was worse than ever before, specially when he was using regular texting instead of Facebook. The humorous nicknames and casual nature of Facebook messenger was now unacceptable. fuck it hurt.

Received: Heidi Turner to Kyle Broflovski  
Hello Kyle!

A regular text from Heidi. She was so nice a honestly cared for him. If he wasn't in the shit hole of emotions he was in right now he might have asked her out. Too bad she also only had eyes for Eric. What was up with that?

Sent: Kyle Broflovski to Heidi Turner  
Hey! What's up?

Received: Heidi Turner to Kyle Broflovski  
Oh nothing much. Hey can you meet me at Starks Pond? You left a book in one of my classes so I feel the need to return it.

Sent: Kyle Broflovski to Heidi Turner  
Yeah sure. Can't you just give it back to me at school though?

Received: Heidi Turner to Kyle Broflovski  
No......see you there in 10 minutes!

Kyle sighed and placed his phone on his bed. He hadn't even had the chance to take a shower yet and he was expected to see a girl he wanted to impress. This was going to kill him. He wasn't ready for social interaction today.

Kyle quickly grabbed some clean clothes from his drawers and chucked them. He picked up his phone and hovered over some draft messaged waiting to be sent to the black haired boy who owned his cold ass heart. The words 'I love you' made him feel twisted inside. Quickly throwing his phone on his bed he walked out the door. He didn't need it to be a distraction while he was talking to someone else.

When Kyle arrived the pond was filled with young kids playing near the water, a few adults exercising and an elderly couple feeding the birds with seed they carried in a paper bag. The temperature wasn't too bad so it was the perfect time to leave his home.

Sitting patiently on a wooden bench seat over looking the pond was the familiar brunette Kyle grew too love. She was always so positive and knew how to brighten up any room. Kyle waved at her and she returned the gesture. He took a seat next to her and watch the clear water ripple slightly against the breeze.

"So, what did you bring my book?"

"Oh yes!", Heidi reached into a bag sat to her left and pulled out the math book Kyle had misplaced a few days ago. "Sorry I needed a reason to talk to you privately so I held onto it for a few days."

Kyle shifted in his seat at the last sentence she threw his way. He felt anxiety crawl under his skin and biting at his brain.

"What did you want to talk about?"  
Heidi took a deep breath in before turning her body to face Kyle. The boys eyes locked contact with her own. Her smile was slightly nervous. A soft hand touched his own, the heat feeling unbearable. He had an idea of what was happening in this moment but trued to brush it off. He didn't really need this.

"Kyle."  
"Yes Heidi?"  
"I think, I like you a lot"

Kyle felt the blood drain from his face. The grip her hand had on his tightened and she leaded in a little bit closer. His heart was pounding in fear and joy. He really didn't need this right now......or did he? Heidi was a girl he knew he would love as a girlfriend and he also knew Stan wanted nothing to do with him. Stan was who he wanted more than anything in the world but he majorly fucked up his chances there and the girl he had a slight crush on had just confessed to him in a pretty romantic way. He did need this, he didn't need to think about Stan any more.

Kyle grabbed his other hand and leaned in to close the gap between their lips. Hers were so soft it was like kissing a cloud. His heart didn't do flips and he didn't feel like the world stopped moving but it was still a nice feeling. She kissed back gently before they both pulled away. Her shy smile grew as her face turned into a bright red. Kyle new how cute she looked at that moment, but he couldn't stop thinking. He needed to stop thinking.   
He pulled in for another kiss which Heidi gladly accepted. He concentrated purely on the girl he was kissing. If she ever knew why he initiated the kiss she would be heart broken. Kyle could never tell anyone about his feelings for Stan. He needed those to stay hidden for every, for the sake of everyone.  
\-----  
An hour had passed before Kyle made it back home. He was in his room alone but he cane back with a girlfriend so score. His parents were excited by the news and his mother already said they should name their baby Miranda after an aunt Kyle had never met before. His mom really needed to chill out.

Kyle took his jeans off and dove onto his bed. He felt something hard hit his back. Kyle rolled to the side and moved the object from under him. Oh his phone! He left it there duh. Kyle pressed the home button but the screen was just black. He sighed before reaching for his charger and plugging it in. The battery icon popped up. His phone powered up and Kyle returned to the last thing he was doing. Oh right, the drafts.

He started deleting the drafts one by one before reaching the bottom. The last message he wrote wasn't there. A feeling of panic suddenly rushed over him as he went straight to his messages.

Sent: Kyle Broflovski to Stan Marsh  
I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it but sorry for the shitty almost 2 month wait :,)


End file.
